Rainbows And Lollipops

**Photography by Melissa Talbot**

Life isn't always rainbows and lollipops. Thanks, Captain Obvious. Okay, so it may not be, unless you are, literally, looking at a rainbow while rolling a lollipop around in your mouth. Otherwise, it's a saying that can hold a dim meaning for many, especially when it feels like you're being kicked while life has you down.

Like when you are trying to navigate your way through a relationship which, at times, can be comparable to walking through a minefield. The closer the relationship, the more complicated it can be. Some people think they are unlucky in love because they seem to find or attract the wrong kind of person. I used to feel that way a lot when I was younger but that was due to my lack of life experience and poor choices.

However, even though I am older and, hopefully, wiser it doesn't mean that my relationships today aren't less difficult. It's that there are better choices I can make when it comes to being in a relationship with depth, longevity, and less complications. Now, it's more about seeing the compatibility between myself and my mate and embracing the differences between us.

The differences can bring conflict, don't get me wrong. However, being with someone who is in the same stage of life as myself means the differences can be talked out at length, bringing a mutual understanding and acceptance of those differences. Which is far better than if we had met during our younger years.

I know exactly what I want out of life now too, which makes a sizable difference in how I view my life to come and whether or not having someone by my side would be beneficial. Of course, there is always the possibility that as times change, I'll change as well as my significant other, and the changes will completely alter the course of our relationship.

Much of life's understanding, as well as my own self-realization, has come as a result of finding my faith within a close relationship with God. It has been in knowing God that I have been able to understand my relationship better and strive to become the right person that God wants me to be. It doesn't make me perfect by any means, but each day I move a little bit closer to being the woman God created me to be and that brings me a lot of joy.

I want to be able to admit when I am wrong and apologize for it. To forgive quickly and sincerely when I have been hurt, unintentionally. To talk things out, trying to understand the varying perspectives and opinions of the man in my life. Overall, a healthy dose of patience and grace go a long way in making the most of what can be a challenging pairing.

So, even though you may think you are completely unlucky in love, let me tell you that luck has nothing to do with it. There are far too many factors involved in each relationship to single out one thing here or there as the root cause of the 'bad luck'. I think it's a maturing within ourselves and the ones we are choosing to date, that can bring some simplicity and understanding to any relationship.

I used to think that I started trying to know all there was to know about someone else in a relationship, including myself, at too young of an age. I still agree with that statement. Being older and having simplified my life has enabled me to go with the flow more easily, relaxing in the length of a relationship more, than years ago.

So, even though you still think that your luck has run out on finding that special someone...don't be so hard on yourself. Be patient, knowing that you are still growing and maturing as a person and, no, that won't happen overnight. Yet, with age and experience, you will quickly come to know what does and doesn't work for you when having a relationship with the opposite sex. Waiting until you know exactly what you want out of life and a partner can save you a lot of heartache.

I certainly wish that I could have waited until I was older to, wisely, try out relationships, but it didn't happen that way. I would have saved myself years of abuse, frustration, hurt, and self-deprecation if I had. However, what I have experienced helped me to see what really matters in this current stage of my life - God and loving people.

Encouragement for the week:

You're not alone when it comes to being unable to find the right person. All the dating sites on social media these days attest to that. Yet, taking your time to figure out who you are and what you want out of life, can be more beneficial than scrolling through profiles late at night.

If you are a Christian reading this, you know that God is jealous for you and desires all of your attention. He is the lover of your soul and knows exactly who you need in your life. Trust Him to bring the right person along at the right time, while you are becoming the right person.

If you are not a Christian reading this, you can look for Jesus and you will find Him. He cares for you and where your life is headed. He wants the very best for you in every area of your life, including who you date and, eventually, marry. You can trust Jesus to help you make the right decisions when it comes to relationships.