Cross Over

**Photography by Melissa Talbot**

Some of you may have noticed that I didn't publish a post last Monday. I escaped to a private retreat in the Rocky Mountains for a week. I had been feeling disconnected from myself and God for quite a while. The photo I took, above, was part of my escape and became a metaphor for my life.

It was a week of refreshment, introspection, and reviewing the 'clauses' of my life 'contract'. I needed to know if anything significant had changed in terms of what I desire for my life. Having a lot of time by myself confirmed that all of the deepest desires remained solid.

The things I wanted were still the case and meditating on those things brought a renewed fire and excitement to my heart. Yet, there was something seriously lacking - the cross over.

Why do I feel like the things I want to pursue can't truly be pursued? Perhaps, it's been through my own sabotage that prevents me from reaching the other side of the bridge. Telling myself just a bit longer, save a bit more money, hold on to the security.

The excuses, fears, and lack of resources (whether true or imagined), usually got me to half or three quarters of the way across. Then doubts of 'making it' would hound me, being convinced that it was not possible to truly pursue the things I wanted to pursue.

How many times do we self-sabotage when it comes to going after what burns in our gut, brings life to our spirits, and lights our eyes on fire? Too many times we talk ourselves out of something because it might be too hard. Isn't that what makes it worthwhile?

Shouldn't we throw caution to the wind, especially as believers, in trusting God completely for what we have already come to believe He desires we go after? Otherwise, why would the hunger and drive exist?

When I looked at the beginning of that bridge, it shocked me to see how much it represented my life. How many times I stopped going after something for one excuse or another. How I would be so close to achieving something big, only to turn back because the way ahead was hidden and unknown.

That's just too scary, isn't it? Yet, I can't help but hear the words from a book in the Bible called 2 Timothy. Timothy was a young believer, afraid to be open about the very desire that burned in him to pursue. His mentor/teacher Paul, would build up and encourage Timothy in the tough times.

One such time is found in this small book named for the young Jesus follower in chapter 1, verse 7 which says, "For God did not give you a spirit of timidity; but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline." This instruction hits me between the eyes every time I read it.

I'm not meant to cower from my desires or that which gives a strong compulsion to go after. I am meant to cross over to the other side of that daunting, old, intimidating life bridge. So are you.

Encouragement for the week:

What stops you from going after your desires? It's time to stare down and get rid of the excuses stopping you.

If you are a Christian reading this, you were not given fear when you became a believer. All the power Jesus had, was given to you when you made the decision in your heart to live for Him. Cross over the bridge.

If you are not a Christian reading this, you can look for Jesus and you will find Him. The fears and doubts in your life will be small compared to the power of Jesus as part of a relationship with Him.