Vice Grip

Have you ever tried to hold several objects in your hands at once? You can't. You, eventually, have to let go of one or more things to keep another. You might guess that from the above picture, my senses were overloaded with Easter treats and it was hard to choose just a couple to grasp and, soon, eat. Perhaps my sister was trying to help me take more chocolate goodness into my fingers.

Chances are, she may have been taking a treat for herself because she saw it and had to have it. The want for something that isn't ours can create extreme emotion and the resistance to turn away until it's in our possession.

And, sometimes, we have a tendency to hold on to things too long, thinking they will bring the greatest joy or satisfaction to our lives. Things like a negative relationship, without respect or kindness, that robs us of healthy self-esteem and self-worth, all in an effort to avoid being alone. Or staying at a high paying job even though it might compromise our own ethics, values, and beliefs.

Whatever the justification we present, the good things we think are good and take a firm grasp of, may not be good at all. In my life, I have held on to a lot of harmful behaviors, addictions, and abusive relationships, in hopes they were the very best life had to offer. I didn't really know anything different and my perspective on what was deemed 'healthy' was completely skewed.

I would enter into a 'relationship' with a guy thinking it was a place of security, love, and respect. However, because I didn't feel those things for myself, they never manifested themselves in any relationship I engaged in prior to coming into a relationship with God. In fact, I would manipulate every relationship I had in order to get out of it what I wanted, which only resulted in heartache.

The associations I held back then had no real connection and lacked every sign of being positive and uplifting. Yet, it's how I viewed myself that brought about my poor interrelations. As each year passed in a span of fifteen years, my self-portrait looked more and more deformed and without any detectable beauty.

Until I met him. He came into my life at a time when I was most broken, devastated, hurt, and vulnerable. He never used those things to his advantage. He never made me feel ashamed for the life I had been living and he never allowed me to degrade myself. He received me as I was, fully flawed, fully imperfect, and he began an intense transformation.

He, being God, accepted me as his own and never let go even though I doubted how anyone could have loved me as he did. Granted, my vice grip on the things in my life didn't relax for many years even as God was working in my heart to heal me, fix my broken heart and messed up perspective.

However, as he kept on telling me, through his word, the Bible, how much I was truly cherished and beloved, it did begin to erase the recording that had been playing in my brain by my own self-defeating thoughts. Not only did my attitude soften but I began to dream about what my life could look like now that I had been given a new beginning - wiping my past slate clean.

While my priorities were still a bit off as a new creation in Christ - money, possessions, marriage - I was coming into a knowledge of something far better. That something was realizing that God didn't just want good things for me, He had the very best in mind for this daughter that he saved. I didn't appreciate that reality until a couple years ago when my heart continued to be changed and what I wanted started to matter less and less.

For once, it wasn't all about me. It wasn't even about what God might want for me. It was all about him and wanting God's best for my life, whatever that looked like. Whether it meant wealth or not, material items or not, or even if it meant marriage or not. As each day passes, being a follower of Christ, I only want the best and anything less, just won't do.

I have been able to release the clench of my fists long enough to allow those things I long for, to fall into the hands of God. I trust him with every single thing in my life and when it comes to the desires of my heart and wanting to honor God with my life, I know the best is yet to come.

Encouragement for the week:

If you think you are holding on to something that is good, you could be missing out on something far superior and spectacular.

If you are a Christian reading this, you know that God only wants the very best for you and your life. You can trust him with the details of that life, no matter what. Keep him as your focus and be sure to spend time with him each day. In developing that intimacy with your Creator, you won't go wrong in waiting for his absolute best.

If you are not a Christian reading this, you can look for Jesus and you will find him. The things in your life that bring you heartache and disappointment are not what's best for you, even if you think it is. You can trust the man who died for you to know what's best. Open your heart to a relationship with him, today.