Elementary, My Dear Watson!

**The middle school I attended in Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan**

A lot of activity went down in the hallowed halls of this school. Many a school crush of mine was trampled under the feet of uninterested boys. In spite of the letters I wrote to many declaring my strong infatuation, alas, my sentiments were never returned.

When you're a hormonal and emotionally challenged teen, even the slightest hint of rejection can set you on a course to self-doubt. Plus the fact that the mind is always forming and changing, causing brain chemistry and hormones to become a roller coaster ride, making life crazy.

It did for me, anyway, and I often felt like an outcast. Trying to fit in and be a part of something...anything in school life, seemed to be critical. Each move someone took was dissected over bagged lunches and recess wandering.

Cliques had a way of developing fast and changes to those cliques, even faster. You never knew from day to day if you were the ally or the enemy. Those were some of the weirdest years of my life.

Alliances were established by the kind of lip gloss one happened to stumble upon from a commercial they saw or another strolling in with the latest style of jeans. No wonder most kids were dazed and confused throughout their academia career. I know I was.

While those may have been the formative years, I'm glad they weren't the deciding factor in whether or not I am accepted today. That no matter what style of boot I may don or the brand of bag I carry, those hold nothing to what I, hope, I've developed in character.

That in spite of the cruel and crass school days, it's with an elementary simplicity that, today, I ensure I'm a woman of character who will welcome and love those who feel left out. To not judge someone because of their attitude, for you don't know what's happening behind the scenes of their life.

As we come closer to the reason behind this season, Jesus Christ, may our looks be loving, our hands extending, and our hearts ever welcoming to whoever we encounter. Let our love and joy be evident to those who long to be accepted.

Encouragement for the week:

As it gets closer to Christmas, my friend, may you know that I love and accept you for exactly who you are. Just as Jesus Christ loves and accepts you.

If you are a Christian reading this, you know that you are accepted unconditionally by your Father in heaven. May that be a strong principal you shine onto others.

If you are not a Christian reading this, you can look for Jesus and you will find Him. You need to know that Christ died so that you could know His unconditional acceptance and love for you, no matter what. His sacrifice for you was real and you can trust Him.

Awkward!

**My Grade 4 school photo.**

There comes a time in many people's lives when awkwardness sets in. Whether in action, speech or appearance, our peculiarities emerge. While we may not have been able to pinpoint the moment in which we became artless, mine happened around the time of entering Grade 4.

The distinct bowl-shaped bangs and thick man brows that graced my face, were obvious and less than flattering. Not exactly a portrait of my younger and, certainly, more attractive years.

You might be thinking that the description I just presented of myself is a wee bit deprecating in nature. On the contrary. It's simply a retrospect of what my mind captured as I zoomed in to take the picture for this post, not a true reflection of how I see myself today.

The interesting thing about me now is that even though I can point out the apparent deficiencies of my looks back then, I can confidently say that I grew out of my awkwardness eventually. Just as we all have and will, even though we fail to realize an important reality.

What we conceived to be embarrassing or unbecoming of ourselves was as a result of a frame of reference having been formed by something or someone, at some time. We believed it and lived life based on that inaccurate depiction.

So, let me speak a truth to you that no one else but Jesus will tell you. And it's a truth that many people will reject because our world is so overbearing and unapologetic when voicing its opinion of you. Let me help you form a new frame of reference.

One of many mentions of this truth can be found in the Bible, within a book called Song of Songs. I believe it is God's love letter to His children. Within the fourth chapter, it declares my truth to you as this, "All beautiful you are, my darling; there is no flaw in you." (Verse 7 - replace beautiful with handsome and this applies to all you fellas too)

As blundering or self-conscious you may perceive yourself to be, it's not accurate. It's not the truth. Not only were you created, but you were beautiful before you were ever born. That beauty never has or ever will, stop. Don't let the world make you buy into its skewed truth. In God's eyes I know I am flawless and so are you.

Encouragement for the week:

Beloved, there is no truth in what the messed up world tries to feed you. You are beautiful.

If you are a Christian reading this, you know that God is perfect, therefore, He makes no imperfect thing. That's where you came in. Remember that there is no junk in the kingdom of God. Wear your beauty with grace and confidence.

If you are not a Christian reading this, you can look for Jesus and you will find Him. He has made all things beautiful, that means you. Open your heart to Jesus today, friend, and you can know and live the confidence of your beauty.

Looking Back

**Christmas of 1981, at nine years old. **

Ten little fingers, ten little toes;
that's how I entered the world.

You welcomed me straight into your arms;
No questions asked, love opened wide.

You coddled and kissed;
No moment you missed.
A little one now looked to you to lead.

The parties, the pictures;
All special occasions captured on film.

This precious girl you looked at with joy;
Your dreams and hopes to come alive.

My life didn't always flow as planned;
There were hurts and scrapes along the way.

Never did you leave my side;
Or cease your daily prayers.

That I would be all that I could;
With your instruction and discipline.

At times I rebelled;
But you never faltered in teaching me goodness.

Respecting others, working hard;
You helped build my strong foundation.

Using manners and being honest;
You modeled before my eyes.

Even though I was too young to appreciate your efforts;
It was never lost as I aged.

Right now, in looking back;
You did the very best for me.

No holding back, no giving in;
Your love, in ways, saved me.

For it was the door that stayed ajar;
To receive the Savior later.

A blessed friend, committed parents;
It all came to a moment.

Of looking back with gratitude;
And living a godly, purpose filled life.


This open prose is dedicated to my parents who remained faithful in loving this little girl who once was lost, but now is found. I love you both.

Encouragement for the week:

Never underestimate the power of the love and prayers of your parents, beloved.

Checked Out

**A 1982 photo of me and my best friend, Grandpa Siroski.**

After you book a trip, and it comes time to go to the airport, you have to begin by checking in. The details of your flight itinerary and baggage are confirmed and the check-in process is completed. You go through security, find your gate, sit down and wait until your designated plane is prepared and boarding begins.

In your indicated seat, you become fully aware that you will soon depart and your trip will commence. For many, a trip is a highly anticipated excursion and you're now looking forward to reaching the final destination. As a traveler, you are fully checked in and present. Let the excitement begin!

But what if your circumstances change and the predicament you're checking into is brutal and heart wrenching? The photo I chose for this post shows happiness and contentment. I'm standing beside my best friend, the center of my universe.

The picture taken was also mere years prior to my grandfather's death from cancer. His death broke me. It turned my world upside down and I couldn't deal with it so I checked out. As adults, my sister has told me that I never cried at his funeral. She couldn't understand why I didn't because of my close relationship with him. I had no recollection of that heart wrenching day.

I think I kept myself from crying and grieving so that I wouldn't lose my mind and never recover. However, because I checked out during that time in my life, it has taken me decades to fully grieve his passing and it was far more difficult than if I had only allowed myself to feel whatever needed to be felt back then.

Be that as it may, there is no set timeline for grieving nor is there any correct way to grieve. The danger lies in checking out, isolation, and disconnecting from others, especially those who love you. Not only does grieving need to happen, but mourning also. While grieving may be a singular action - a song plays reminding you of the person, a smell makes you sob uncontrollably because that's how they used to smell - mourning is a communal action.

It brings you into the proximity of another person to whom you can grieve publicly. That sounds uncomfortable. However, if you have someone who allows you to go through the rainbow of emotions that happen when you lose a beloved one, that's when you're checked back in and possess the ability to express yourself freely.

Be heart broken. Have an ugly cry. Be mad. Allow yourself to feel what you're feeling, out loud, and until the pain isn't as drowning or overwhelming. Let it out. When I'm saddened by loss, I'm thankful that the Bible speaks to the importance of loss. In a book called Ecclesiastes it says that there is, "...a time to mourn and a time to dance..." (Chapter 3, Verse 4b). It assigns a season to mourning. This process is a natural time in our lives, as unfortunate as it is when it happens.

As a Christian woman, I have found benefit in weeping and mourning, especially during times of loss. We were created to be feeling beings. We weren't meant to be isolated or checked out from life's pain. Allow yourself to mourn for this season then let life move you forward. It doesn't mean you're discounting the passing of your loved one. It means you're allowing yourself to be you, the you that God intended you to be.

Encouragement for the week:

Beloved, it's okay to cry and feel all that's in you during this time of pain and loss. Expressing deep emotion is a part of who you were created to be.

If you are a Christian reading this, you know that God didn't create you to be one dimensional. Allow yourself to feel and live life forward as you grieve. Continue to trust that God can and will get you through it all.

If you are not a Christian reading this, you can look for Jesus and you will find Him. Don't be afraid to feel during times of loss - it is a part of life. A relationship with Jesus will enable you to live life in the midst of unbearable pain. Jesus is the way to peace in loss. You can trust Him when you ask Him to come into your heart and help you navigate life.

Who's That Girl?

**Photo of me on a 1978 fishing trip with my grandparents**

Daddy's little girl, grandpa's favorite grandchild, Mommy's eager helper, and an older sister's worst nightmare. These were just some of the titles I accumulated over the young years of my life. Include the picture above and you could add adventurous boater and fisherman.

Driving my grandfather's boat for the first time was both exciting and terrifying. I wanted to go on a tear but also make my grandpa proud. He didn't let just anyone captain his vessel. Needless to say, that was a monumental day for me and I caught a big jack fish too.

Nowadays, a lot of our young girls define who they are through the lens of others and social media. Much of what streams to their eyes and ears are that they don't cut it according to the superficial expectations that movies, songs, and TV portray.

That they fall short in one or more areas that society, and even 'friends' state is required to 'fit in'. May I just say, that's total junk and completely unrealistic. I fought that while growing up and it resulted in devastating results.

Like crushed self-esteem, depression, self-hatred, and a suicide attempt. While I lived to move beyond my harsh younger years, many young women didn't. The pressure was too much. The nonacceptance too scathing. Young, beautiful lives lost. Forever.

Let's do away with the insults and judgments. Instead, let us be people who celebrate our unique differences that were given to us by God when He, so carefully, wove us together in our mother's wombs (Psalm 139:13).

May we embrace, not attack. May we move beyond the superficial standards that the world has felt necessary to impose and love our sisters for the beautiful creations they are. Let's shock the shallow world with what we can do, just as Jesus did without hesitation.

Don't be afraid to be who you are. You are unique for a reason. Only you can do what needs to be done within the world to make it a better place. Be strong and courageous and don't bow down to the world's pressure. Make them ask, "Who's that girl?"

Encouragement for the week:

Sweet girl, there is no one as beautiful and unique as you. Never allow anyone to diminish the radiance your heavenly Father, painstakingly, formed.

If you are a Christian reading this, your power to shine lies within the intricacy your Father had great love to build you with. Be strong enough in Him to embrace your uniqueness and help others to realize theirs.

If you are not a Christian reading this, you can look for Jesus and you will find Him. God made you. Yes, He did. And He did it through incredible detail with tremendous love. The world will not celebrate your full potential. Only a relationship with Christ can. You can trust Him.

Let's Be Clear

**A picture of me at the age of seven 

with my friends and sister.**

Being young and impressionable has its merits. As a youngster, I was easily impressed by the things my parents and grandparents did, only because I didn't carry the size or strength to pull off the task.

I was also easily moved by the things my friends and sister did. I would follow the patterns and behaviors I saw whether they were fitting for me or not. I'm sure there may have been an innate knowledge that some of the things I was copying, weren't always beneficial.

What ever the case, my individualism may wasn't as obvious in my younger years as it is now. Being able to think for myself wasn't as imperative as a young girl.  Mimicking everyone else and being in the accepted crowd was far more essential.

Compromise was a far reaching taboo for this awkward lass. Instead, I walked a fine line between nice and naughty in an effort to ensure a certain cute and innocent profile, even though the rebel inside teetered on the edge of mayhem.

What can I say? I didn't exactly put my choices under a microscope before making them at that age. None of us did. We just wanted to have fun. That's what childhood was all about.

Pushing the limits, fighting to fit in, gaining acceptance from our peers, and standing out in a crowd were our life goals. Nothing else really mattered.

Looking at my life today, as a Christian woman, I have a completely different thought process. It's more about becoming the right person, being compassionate, and staying true to my beliefs and convictions. No compromise allowed.

No, that doesn't mean forming legalistic ideologies. It's quite the opposite. It's about sharing a meaningful relationship with God and living by specific and inalienable principles because they keep me free from physical, emotional and mental harm.

And because of that, they keep me in a caring, compassionate and empathetic posture around others. They allow me to be real and vulnerable while keeping me true to the values and beliefs I will, unequivocally, hold to. No matter what.

In this world, and for the sake of my own sanity, I must hold fast to the things that convict me, because that's the only way I will become the woman God created me to be. And I have to say, that's far more important than anything else the world could possibly offer.

Encouragement for the week:

Sweet girl, don't compromise your heart, mind, or body to fit in to the masses that pressure you. An uncompromising spirit will take you further in ways you never thought possible.

If you are a Christian reading this, God created you to be unwavering in your faith and to be true to your convictions. Continue to look to the Lord for the strength to go against the majority.

If you are not a Christian reading this, you can look for Jesus and you will find Him. He sees the pain you suffer when you compromise yourself. He longs to protect you from that. Entering into a relationship with Jesus will enable you to stay true to who you are.

Does It Matter?

Growing up in a small town, as I did, afforded our family many benefits. It wasn't just about our family, but a larger family co-existing in the sleepy hamlet. It meant being able to roam and explore with confidence. Where everyone knew each other and each child had others watching out for them - which didn't always work to our favor. Our parents knew we were causing trouble before we ever reached the front door for dinner.

Relationships among neighbors were close, trusting, and rewarding. At any given time, we could walk to a neighbor's house to play or enjoy cookies. I remember walking to the post office that also served as the postal worker's home. She was a pleasant, friendly lady who enjoyed serving. We would chat before I collected the mail and walked back home.

When it came to birthday celebrations, it was common for my parents to bring out a car full of my friends, making it a weekend event. Having my birthday land in the middle of summer, there was badminton, popsicles and other outdoor fun, abound.

As a teenager, I became a trusted sitter for the neighbor kids whose parents could go out knowing their children were in good hands. Great good resided in living the small town life back then where life was simpler. You took time to listen to the stories of your neighbors. There was intentional relationship building in a time of slowed paces. It was comfortable and free without much fighting or disagreement.

We were all created for relationship by God. We each have an innate need for interaction and human connection for that reason. Nowadays, many think that the most meaningful connection is found through the portal of social media. But it's actually tearing us apart, making us incapable of having the simplest of conversations and making new friends.

The other day I went food shopping and was stupefied by what I saw. People were engaged with their phones or plugged into ear buds as they strolled the aisles. Many had their heads down, maybe in hopes of avoiding eye contact. Strange how we have become intricately connected to technology - something that can never return to us what we desperately long for - relationship, acceptance, love, and life meaning.

Not only did God create us to be social beings, but His Word, the Bible is the written essence of interaction and relational intimacy. Brother to brother, husband to wife, grandparent to grandchild - it's all about connecting.

In fact, much of the Bible encourages us to communicate and engage in friendship with one another. One such example comes from a book called Hebrews, which says, "And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another..." (Chapter 10, Verses 24-25)

No man or woman is an island, capable of thriving without human interaction. We were created for so much more than that. May we each be intentional in reaching out to others and connecting on a heart level.

Encouragement for the week:

My friend, as enjoyable or easy social media may be, it will never feed the greatest need of your heart. Your feminine heart requires more than the shallow sentiments social media offers.

If you are a Christian reading this, you know you were created for relationship and interaction with others. Be mindful of the traps that technology uses to isolate. Instead, have intention about interacting with others in person.

If you are not a Christian reading this, you can look for Jesus and you will find Him. You can find a special relationship and connection with Jesus. He waits to forge a lasting and intimate friendship with you. You can trust Him.