Don't Do It

"Then Pilate took Jesus and had him flogged.

The soldiers twisted together a crown of thorns

and put it on his head..." - John 19: 1-2

**Photography by Melissa Talbot**

Sometimes other people's dreams, goals, and aspirations seem ridiculous, impossible, or even crazy to us. We may even be ignorant to their heart to the point of dismissiveness. Nothing kills a dream faster than the doubting tongue of someone close to us.

Recently, a friend of mine asked if I would go skydiving with her this spring. Without hesitation, the reply text included, "Are you nuts?", followed by another sentence saying, "Actually...I might."

There was a sudden awareness that even though the thought of willfully jumping out of a plane and plummeting to the earth at break neck speeds wasn't exactly exciting to me, it was an experience that was exciting to her.

It was something she gave careful thought to. Perhaps as part of a realization that was now a desire in order to break out of her comfort zone. To do something so...crazy, in order to bring life out of complacency.

Remembering back years ago, there were things that others conceived to be insane and nutty when announcing that I would be embarking on inner dreams.

Things like going to Uganda, alone, for two weeks to work in an orphanage and doing a working vacation in Italy for two months.

Then years later, I would take another, even crazier, journey. Five months at YWAM in Costa Rica with people almost half my age. It's not called Youth With A Mission for nothing.

Community living with hyper and Christ loving youth, numbering in the hundreds, was not overly appealing to a, then, 38 year old woman who was very comfortable in life. What lay ahead was nerve wracking and nauseating and ridicule from others only added to the building anxiety.

However, the desire to go was prompted only by the fact that God was calling me there and, in light of my own crazy thoughts about going, being obedient to God's call was crucial. Even in the face of knowing what I would be leaving behind.

Things like giving up a cozy apartment, selling a reliable car, and saying goodbye to someone I deeply loved. It also meant staring the death of my great desire for marriage in the face and, tearily, saying, "Farewell".

In all honesty, as hard as it was to say goodbye to the things of the heart, ignoring the aspiration growing within was impossible. It was a God given calling and desire, the best to receive because they are true, real, and promised to be fulfilled by Him.

Just like the dream to be married. There is no greater gift than to receive and believe that this covenant was hand picked. A promise that waits to be fulfilled. A desire that continues to grow, at times, to overwhelming proportions.

So, looking back to my friend's aspiration to push beyond the boundaries of discomfort and move toward what calls within, deserves applause, not ridicule.

Whether you are a Christian or not, there are great things that reside within you. Things both God given and ambition given. Things to stretch and mature beyond the confines of doubt and fear.

Glorious things believed and pursued because of an inner conviction. Big dreams being dreamed. The impossible becoming possible. Great or small, the desire erupts and calls for action.

Jesus Christ, the Son of God, was often told not to do the things He did in the Bible. Don't preach, don't teach, don't heal. Even His disciples told Him not to go to the Cross but Jesus' God given desire and His obedience to heal, forgive, and save the world never stopped Him even though suffering, rejection, and death awaited Him.

Don't let the words, "Don't do it", take hold. The desire to do what is inside you is there for a reason. Trust in God and let Him take you there.

Encouragement for the week:

You have goals, dreams, and aspirations. Maybe it's to lose weight, be healthier, or have a more intimate relationship with God.

Maybe it is something really big that, when mentioned, has only brought words of ridicule or mockery from your closest of friends. Maybe the word 'crazy' was even mentioned.

Dreams and desires are in you for a reason. Only you know what that reason might be. What's for sure is that they have been there a long time.

Whether you believe in God or not, those dreams and desires were given to you, waiting to be explored. You'll never know their true importance until you decide to take a step out and see where that dream/desire takes you.

Even if that step means believing in it or going out and making it a reality. Don't let someone tell you that you can't do it. Don't let someone shame you out of doing it.

If you are a Christian, these dreams and desires are God given. Trust Him to bring you into them and enjoy the journey along the way.

If you are not a Christian, your dreams and desires were given to you. Look for Jesus and He will bring you into those dreams and desires in a way that will be beyond your own imagination.

Smashed

What breaks your heart? This was the question that came at the end of a TV message yesterday. It was more of a challenge to the audience to dig deeper.

To search for something more than the obvious. Obvious like children starving or murder. Not that these things are lessened by any means, but the question's answer was meant to come from a deeper, more personal place within.

For me, it took some time of reflection on my life before coming up with answers.

Here are a few that, quickly, came to mind:

• Sin. First and foremost, my own.
• The evil in the world as a result of sin.
• The lost and broken people who don't know Jesus.
• Saying goodbye to a loved one.

In all honesty, these things, along with many others, bring tears. Sometimes sobbing. A while back, the great desire for marriage would have topped the list but after careful searching, it is the idolatry of marriage that was a greater heart break. Hence, sin, taking the top spot.

While the desire is still very much real and the tears from it not yet fulfilled, plenty, it has been more important to deal with the reasons it became an idol in the first place.

Becoming consumed with something that holds no value or benefit for our spiritual, emotional, mental, or psychological growth/health can hold back the blessings that God wants for us.

You can relate to this, hopefully, even if you are not a Christian. You may be able to recognize the very things in your life, today, that hold you back from enjoying each day.

Stumbling blocks like resentment, unforgiveness, sexual immorality, and others. For me, the fear of rejection, sexual compromise, and resentment were things preventing forward and positive progress.

They were things that robbed me from enjoying and engaging life and, as a result, kept breaking my heart. The door had to be opened to a path of healing which meant facing the 'demons' and doing whatever it took to slay the dragons, as it were.

That only started to happen when a choice to surrender, to let go, all that had been consuming. The desires, the sin, the stubbornness...all of it, had to be put aside because the desire for freedom was far greater.

Greater than the stained, torn, and smelly blankie that I toted around for decades. Granted, as the experience of healing happened over the years and the freedoms afforded by God continued, there is still a sizeable piece of blankie left.

However, the past three months led me, via aloneness and solitude, into a very honest and humbling place where sin no longer felt warm and fuzzy to me. I wanted change and it came, it's still coming. I know that I am imperfect and sinful which means, thankfully, I will always need God.

What breaks my heart? The undone, the cast aside. The I'll-get-to-it-when-I-want-to. I want to get smashed, broken into pieces. I want to be dessimated so that I can become the right woman and walk in freedom. I want to get to that place where I delight in burning my blankie and you are all invited to the bonfire.

Encouragement for the week:

What breaks your heart? What do you struggle with to get past?

Is it worth the misery you're living in right now? 

Heart break can be good in situations such as helping someone who is homeless get back on their feet, donating food to the local food bank, or sitting with someone who just lost a loved one. 

Heart break that holds you captive to unhealthy feelings and actions is not good. It can prevent you from living a full, productive, and enjoyable life. A life that Christ died to give you. An abundant life.

Whether you are a Christian or not, the principle stands the same. Negative holds us back. Positive brings growth and change.

I'd like to encourage you this week to dig deep. Think about the things in your life that are stopping you from becoming who you truly are supposed to be. Someone beautiful.

Take a step toward healing and experience the freedom that comes in getting smashed.

A Fresh Start

"Who has measured the waters in the hollow of his hand, 

or with the breadth of his hand marked off 

the heavens?..." - Isaiah 40:12

**Photography by Melissa Talbot

On New Years eve, I had the opportunity to be part of a conversation around new years resolutions. I'm not one to make resolutions when a new year starts but introspective thoughts started to come.

When it was my turn, it became clear what should happen in the coming year. It's to be engaged. To be intentional about actions, words, and decisions.

Being intentional about reading more, both in the Bible and other genres of interest, in order to expand knowledge that will lend to better writing.

Intentional about being present, in the here and now, whether in nature alone or spending time in conversation with loved ones and friends. Being in each moment because that moment will never happen that way again. When it's gone, it's gone.

The intent to allow the fullness of life, and all that surrounds me, take hold and fill me to overflowing. No matter what that looks like. If it's moving through sorrow or experiencing joy, each situation has the potential to teach something that will bear fruit.

The intent to have no regrets about anything. Whether it's speaking from the heart, taking action to help someone or walking alongside a friend or foe who is hurting.

This new year is a fresh start. An extraordinary opportunity to do away with spiritual, physical, and mental compromise. To allow God to do all the refining and changes within that are of no benefit or outside of His will and best for me.

It is an unknown road entered with a complete awareness that struggle, sorrow, joy, and difficulty will happen. A journey that will bring lessons only learned if submission, obedience, and trust are included.

In light of all this, for me, it is a better road traveled with God than without. Even during the lonely times. Even during the can't-stop-crying, hard-to-breathe moments when the white knuckle grip is front and centre.

A better road traveled than not. A road I need to travel in light of the fear that exists deep down.

Encouragement for the week:

What does the new year look like to you? Is it a clean slate with an opportunity to do things differently and be kinder to yourself?

Is it a chance to be more intentional about your time and actions?

Whatever the new year holds and the hopes you have for it, protect that hope. It will mean the difference between being open to learning and growing or cratering from the lies believed in times of disappointment.

If you are a Christian reading this, it is my hope that you will be open to learning the lessons God has for you this year.

If you are not a Christian reading this, it is my hope that you will look for Jesus and find Him, stepping into the great hope He brings by knowing Him, making this year the best year ever.

Brighter Days, Higher Hopes

"He says to the snow, 'Fall on the earth'..." - Job 37:6

**Photography by Melissa Talbot

When the time comes for Christmas to be celebrated, the world seems to take a pause. A rest. Living in this country of Canada affords incredible freedoms and privileges that enable a greater awareness of that pause. That for a short while, all hardship, fighting, and difficulties appear to cease.

Unfortunately, for those who don't know Jesus or living in dangerous places/situations, may find it very difficult to have hope. That taking a pause or knowing rest is a foreign concept.

As a Christian, Christmas is an incredible time because it brings to mind the wonder and blessing of the birth of Jesus Christ, the Son of God, who was born in a stable, laid in a manger, under the bright star in Bethlehem.

For Christians, that single birth represents the hope, joy, peace, and spectacular reassurance of greater things to come. Like the promise of salvation, forgiveness, and eternal life.

For me, this time of year causes deep reflection on the past twelve months and things that have changed and grown, both inwardly and outwardly. Thoughts come of how God has worked in my life, heart, mind, and spirit in wonderful and unexpected ways.

How He has changed things for the better as my pursuit of Him quickens. How good and faithful He continues to be even during those times of heartbreak and struggle.

Which brings about other thoughts during reflection. Thoughts of another year without the manifestation of marriage. Of hopes and dreams dashed and unfulfilled even though God knows what desires lie deep within. God given desires.

Even though tears are shed and the pain of disappointment runs deep, God always brings other blessings along to over shadow the things that were wished for to be waiting in pretty wrapping under the tree.

Blessings like sharing tidings of the season with friends. Spending time with family around a buffet of home cooking. Being present in each moment of the blessing so as not to miss a single word, glance, or smile. Hugging those tightly who have only come for a short while, wishing they could stay longer. Sharing in the announcement and celebration of wonderful news.

Those are the things to hold on to because they will keep you hoping for the things yet to come. Greater things beyond imagination and comprehension. At least that is my hope and belief.

So choosing to soak in the happiness and joy of right now instead of being sorrowful for the things that still haven't happened is my posture right now. Every effort will be made to remain in that posture so that every day can be enjoyed. This, my friend, is my great hope for you as this Christmas season, once again, passes away and the dawn of a new year quickly approaches.

As the cone in this post's picture looks forward to new life in the coming spring, it is my hope that you will also look forward to the coming year. That the past would be left behind. That the present would be cherished, even in the tough times, and that the future would be something that invokes excitement.

Encouragement for the week:

As enjoyable and exciting as this time of year can be, it may also be overwhelming and stressful.

Expectations placed on us by others can, sometimes, place a damper on what we hoped Christmas would be.

May I just encourage you, this week, to take time by yourself to reflect on the past year. Think about the things you faced and overcame. About the changes that happened not only in you, for the better, but also in others or in your life situation.

In spite of the pain, hurt, or disappointment you may have incurred in the past year, a new year is about to dawn and the possibilities and opportunities for you are endless.

If you are a Christian reading this, you not only have the extraordinary joy of knowing your salvation is secured as you follow God and live your life for Him, but each day with Him is also an adventure. Yes, even in the ordinary, mundane, monotonous days.

If you are not a Christian reading this, you can share in the great hope that I and others have within the personal relationship we share with God and Jesus Christ. A hope that will bring you peace, joy, contentment, and the excitement of greater things to come by knowing Jesus.



I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas. For those who struggle during the holidays, I pray for great peace and comfort to wash over you. I pray for hope to fill you all as we approach a new year.

**The photo in this post is the debut of my photography. I hope you enjoy this picture and each one to come. Each photo has also been inspired by Scripture found in the Bible.**

Tis The Season

When someone I love is hurting, it's difficult and painful to stand by, being unable to do something to lessen their pain. Most times, it's hard to know what to say. Praying, for me, has been a way of helping.

At this time of year, our hearts should be filled with joy and excitement to spend time with friends and family. We should be looking forward to festive meals, relaxation, laughter, and reflection on the reason behind the season.

For the first time in a really long time, I have joy, peace, and excitement for this time of year. Being freed from things that used to burden and changing my mindset has made all the difference. A difference that has only happened through a relationship with Christ. I'm beyond grateful for the turnaround this year.

For decades, this season only meant loneliness, rejection, hurt, and without cause for celebration. So it's very easy to understand the plight of friends and family who struggle at Christmastime.

The reasons can be many behind not feeling all too merry or engaging in the meaning of this time of year. Some reasons that, recently and personally, resonate with me are someone who lost their home to the cruel and unbiased nature of fire. Another moved out of their marital home, facing divorce, with three small children.

My heart cries out, "This is so unfair. Why them? Why now? Why this time of year, or any time of year for that matter?" Though the questions go unanswered, it's hard to reconcile these things when hurt is the end product.

As a Christian, I have not only known great hurt, still do, but there is a source to help heal and restore a hurting heart. That source has been God and Jesus Christ. That's why this time of year holds so much more hope and joy than ever before. A hope and joy that remains a great desire, of mine, for others to know.

Along with a want to reach into the depths of another person's pain filled life to pull them into hope. Hope to live another day, to trudge ahead, to dream again. Hope to look beyond the brutal reality and see the absolute truth that things will get better and the fog will fade away with the rising sun.

Hope was the thing I was desperate for the most throughout life. When my son was taken from me, when the divorce papers were served, when the addictions took over. Hope would have really been good but there was very little to none most days.

When I became a Christian and things were changing within, the learned and experienced things of Jesus brought hope. A fuel laden, dynamite charged fire of hope that helped a broken heart to beat again.

So, as the days draw closer to Christmas and my reason for the season, Christ, hope stirs and rises as desires for others to experience that same hope does. Not just for those I know, but for everyone around the globe who don't yet know the promise and joy that hope in Jesus brings.

Encouragement for the week:

You are loved. In your loneliness, your broken relationship, the loss of your home, or whatever brokenness you are facing, you are loved. Beyond measure, beyond your own understanding. There is nothing you have to do to earn this love. It's yours for the asking.

I know you're hurting, especially this time of year, and I may not know the right words to say. I have been where you are, in that place of hurt, and sometimes a listening ear might be all you need but it's here for you. Whenever you need it.

I understand and care and desire that you know the same hope and joy I found, not only for this time of year, but all year round.

If you are a Christian reading this, it is my hope that you cling to the reason for this season, Jesus Christ and that His birth would bring fresh joy and hope into your heart.

If you are not a Christian reading this, it is my great hope that you would look for Jesus and reach out to Him to experience all the hope, joy, and peace that He desires you to enjoy.

I wish to thank all of my dedicated readers and followers for being a part of my blog success so far. May you all have a very Merry Christmas. Get caught up in the little things and do away with the trivial. Enjoy each moment because there are no do overs. Time is precious and the amount we each have on this earth is unknown, so enjoy your life.

Awestruck And Gobsmacked

In my singleness really-wish-it-was-over-already journey, I feel like I have been climbing the emotional and spiritual equivalent of Mount Everest.

I know that many people have tried to get to the top of this infamous mountain. Some were successful, others were not and had to return to the bottom. Some lost their lives trying to achieve their dream of reaching the summit.

Even though I have never attempted the climb, I think I may have a sense of what those, who tackled the real mountain, experienced.

In this season of my singleness, I don't think I was fully prepared for what was going to be required to make this journey. I know I was not ready for the length of it and it often felt like my season was ALWAYS winter with blizzard after blizzard.

Each subsequent step upward seemed to take more effort than the last. At times, it became hard to breathe and I would have to camp in one spot for hours, sometimes days because the storm just became too much.

Often, there was exhaustion, impatience, pleading, frustration, and discouragement ruling every part of me. It took everything I had to want to continue up the daunting mountain.

There was even that voice inside that said I would never get to the top. That I would never overcome the doubt and fear that plagued me.

This might seem a bit dramatic, but I felt like I would die on that mountain of singleness. Never realizing the sweet taste of victory over the misery my status often brought.

Yet, something inside of me kept telling me to hold on, fight through the tears, and resume the climb. Keep on toward the summit of marriage that, I believe, God has in store for me.

Interestingly enough, after nine and a half years of climbing, I stumbled upon a hidden pre-summit this past week. Frankly, it was like a five star cup of hot chocolate, with mini marshmallows, suddenly appearing to warm and thaw this woman-sicle.

As I drank carefully but desperately, I could feel joy and contentment filling me. Almost to overflowing. The more I drank, the more hot chocolate came.

My heart burst with gratitude as this spiritual beverage filled every longing crevasse. The experience left me awestruck and gobsmacked to say the least.

There is a man in the Bible by the name of Paul. I guess you could say that he, spiritually, climbed Mount Everest too. He would talk about his experiences of telling people about Jesus and the opposition he encountered.

He was beaten, flogged, shipwrecked, threatened, and so much more. You would think he'd pack it in early on in his climb.

As much misfortune that came his way, Paul kept climbing and he kept an optimism that few could muster, myself included. In fact, he delighted in pointing out that in spite of everything that was done to him and all he had to go through, he had joy and contentment.

I'm thankful to say that after all these years of climbing and struggling that I can, honestly and finally, relate to how Paul is feeling and it is so incredible. It almost makes the climb, thus far, worth it...almost.

I have to say that I am looking forward, more and more, to reaching the top of my Mount Everest. To stand at the top in complete awe after this long and arduous climb.

In the meantime, I'm going to enjoy my hot chocolate, with mini marshmallows, all the way to the top.

Encouragement for the week:

Do you feel like you are climbing Mount Everest? You are not alone, my friend.

Though the way is difficult and the journey is taking all you've got, take a break but keep going. You'll reach your summit if you persevere.

If you are a Christian reading this, keep looking up, into the eyes of God and don't take them off Him for ANYTHING. You're going to make it if you don't give up.

If you are not a Christian reading this, God knows your every heartache and cares for you. He and Jesus want a relationship with you. They love you beyond measure. Look for them and you will find them.

Time for more hot chocolate.

Making Something Out Of Nothing?

I think it's fair to say that we all have scars. Some are external and noticeable. Others are hidden deep within us.

Whether superficial or long and deep, scars are permanent. Permanent marks that may have come as a result of a traumatic time in our lives.

Marks that appear because of something someone did or said to hurt us. Or maybe it was something someone didn't say or do that caused the damage.

No matter what the situation or person, scars develop and they sting. The physical scars can be seen and may remind us of something we long to forget.

The deep scars, those of the heart, might even torment us, causing us to set ourselves on a course we were never meant to plot. On a journey we were never meant to take.

I have scars. I have one on the top of my left hand that a family dog left when I was really young. It always makes me chuckle when I look at the scar and know exactly what caused it. It's amazing what the mind remembers.

Then there are the deeper scars. The ones I allowed to shape me into someone I was never meant to become. Someone who allowed the marks to slowly destroy herself.

Scars made of cutting words and abusive actions that wore me down and kept me in a place of anger, rejection, and self-hatred. The combination of these which made it easy to immerse myself in alcohol, drug and sexual addictions.

It's all I knew at the time to get through each day, to get through life. Even life became a struggle to want to live and I, often, contemplated suicide, attempting it many times.

When I became a Christian in May of 2007, the scars were still very much there but God began to change my understanding about those scars. Over the years He has been helping me to see them no longer as scars but as building blocks.

Building blocks to make something good out of something very real and very painful. Construction pieces of hurt turned into healing, immorality into integrity, and rage into restoration.

God began healing the very things I had been using to destroy myself and others. He was taking all of my anger and transforming it into love, empathy and compassion for others.

Turning my self-hatred, insecurity and insignificance into respect, understanding and forgiveness for myself and others.

God is still healing my innermost scars today. Scars I wasn't fully aware of. It's beautiful, to me, how God has never left me where I'm at and only loves me to a better place I never thought I could reach within.

Such an instance occurred yesterday when I heard a powerful message on the force that feelings of a broken heart and rejection can have. Feelings such as anger, being easily offended, and having a controlling/manipulative nature.

I was caught off guard with my mouth gaping wide as the words from the message reached deeper and deeper into me.

As hard as it was to hear the pastor speak on the topic, I couldn't deny that I felt as though he was speaking directly to me. Which was a good thing because those were feelings I had been fighting against for many years.

It was through the message and God's love and grace for me that I felt healed of my issues with rejection and all the feelings I had been carrying, associated with it.

Becoming a Christian doesn't guarantee a painless journey filled with lollipops and kittens (not to sound lame). It does guarantee that we will always be in a time of change and I have come to know and experience that change is good even when it might seem bad at the time.

God wants us to become better because of His love for you and me. He's not going to stop at good. He's aiming for getting us to our very best, but only if we're willing.

For me, I am beyond thankful and grateful that my scars won't be for nothing. Instead, they will all be used to build something. Something really good and so will yours.

Encouragement for the week:

I know you have scars. I know there are some you would rather forget. Don't let those scars define you. Don't let them destroy you.

God doesn't make junk, that includes you. Whether you are a Christian or not.

You are more than the scars you have incurred. God wants to take those scars and turn them into building blocks for something very good.

Something far beyond your own imagination.

If you are a Christian reading this, God wants to heal you using those scars to build you up, not send you crumbling to the ground. I pray you let Him.

If you are not a Christian reading this, you can know Jesus for yourself if you look for Him and let Him and God take you and turn you into what I KNOW is beautiful.

Let the building begin.