Smashed

What breaks your heart? This was the question that came at the end of a TV message yesterday. It was more of a challenge to the audience to dig deeper.

To search for something more than the obvious. Obvious like children starving or murder. Not that these things are lessened by any means, but the question's answer was meant to come from a deeper, more personal place within.

For me, it took some time of reflection on my life before coming up with answers.

Here are a few that, quickly, came to mind:

• Sin. First and foremost, my own.
• The evil in the world as a result of sin.
• The lost and broken people who don't know Jesus.
• Saying goodbye to a loved one.

In all honesty, these things, along with many others, bring tears. Sometimes sobbing. A while back, the great desire for marriage would have topped the list but after careful searching, it is the idolatry of marriage that was a greater heart break. Hence, sin, taking the top spot.

While the desire is still very much real and the tears from it not yet fulfilled, plenty, it has been more important to deal with the reasons it became an idol in the first place.

Becoming consumed with something that holds no value or benefit for our spiritual, emotional, mental, or psychological growth/health can hold back the blessings that God wants for us.

You can relate to this, hopefully, even if you are not a Christian. You may be able to recognize the very things in your life, today, that hold you back from enjoying each day.

Stumbling blocks like resentment, unforgiveness, sexual immorality, and others. For me, the fear of rejection, sexual compromise, and resentment were things preventing forward and positive progress.

They were things that robbed me from enjoying and engaging life and, as a result, kept breaking my heart. The door had to be opened to a path of healing which meant facing the 'demons' and doing whatever it took to slay the dragons, as it were.

That only started to happen when a choice to surrender, to let go, all that had been consuming. The desires, the sin, the stubbornness...all of it, had to be put aside because the desire for freedom was far greater.

Greater than the stained, torn, and smelly blankie that I toted around for decades. Granted, as the experience of healing happened over the years and the freedoms afforded by God continued, there is still a sizeable piece of blankie left.

However, the past three months led me, via aloneness and solitude, into a very honest and humbling place where sin no longer felt warm and fuzzy to me. I wanted change and it came, it's still coming. I know that I am imperfect and sinful which means, thankfully, I will always need God.

What breaks my heart? The undone, the cast aside. The I'll-get-to-it-when-I-want-to. I want to get smashed, broken into pieces. I want to be dessimated so that I can become the right woman and walk in freedom. I want to get to that place where I delight in burning my blankie and you are all invited to the bonfire.

Encouragement for the week:

What breaks your heart? What do you struggle with to get past?

Is it worth the misery you're living in right now? 

Heart break can be good in situations such as helping someone who is homeless get back on their feet, donating food to the local food bank, or sitting with someone who just lost a loved one. 

Heart break that holds you captive to unhealthy feelings and actions is not good. It can prevent you from living a full, productive, and enjoyable life. A life that Christ died to give you. An abundant life.

Whether you are a Christian or not, the principle stands the same. Negative holds us back. Positive brings growth and change.

I'd like to encourage you this week to dig deep. Think about the things in your life that are stopping you from becoming who you truly are supposed to be. Someone beautiful.

Take a step toward healing and experience the freedom that comes in getting smashed.