I can't believe it's a new year. What happened to the past twelve months? Where did the time go? It seems like an inventory of my life doesn't happen until a year has passed by.
In a way, the thought of looking back over that amount of time brings panic, regret, and disbelief. Panic over the thought that I did nothing to contribute toward something meaningful.
Regret over not being more adventurous or taking greater risks. Disbelief of how fast the days and months moved. One minute the trees are budding and the next, weather warnings of a winter deep freeze.
I've mentioned in the past that I am not a resolution maker. Yet, I will think of and work toward goals. Goals that are realistic and attainable, encouraging me to set bigger goals.
So, as I look back in time on this past year, there were a couple marks that were set and achieved. One that was especially surprising and exciting - securing a monthly spot as a volunteer freelance writer for an online ministry.
However, there is a nagging sensation in my gut that makes me feel like I missed the bigger mark of experiencing real, inner change. Do I feel any different? Did I grow in the areas I wanted to? That God wanted me to?
While I can be my own worst enemy, as we all can at times, I know that it would have been God, not me, who was keeping me on track, without fully realizing it. He would have been the one shaping me into a woman with more integrity, compassion, and love this year than last.
He would have been the one bringing opportunities that I, initially, didn't pay attention to, and the one who would have helped me understand things never figured out on my own, had I not prayed for understanding.
Incredible.
As much as the world tells us that it's all about external success and achievement, it really isn't. It's not about how much you made or what you bought. It's not even about how much you donated to charity or your church.
It's about you. The part of you that longs for something greater than social status and fame. It's the core of who you want to be that will make a worthwhile impact in the lives of others.
It's the realization that you no longer want to be self-centered but others-centered. You want to be more than in the past. I want to be more this year than last year. I want to grow in ways that the world won't recognize or celebrate.
So, while I can beat myself up for the things that, maybe, I should have accomplished in the past twelve months, there is so much more and it had to begin on the inside. I need it to be on the inside for it to matter.
Instead of looking back and making note of what should or shouldn't have happened, I'm looking forward. I'm taking what I experienced, learned and struggled with last year, and will use it to grow this year. This causes me to believe that I haven't missed the mark but am right on target.
In a way, the thought of looking back over that amount of time brings panic, regret, and disbelief. Panic over the thought that I did nothing to contribute toward something meaningful.
Regret over not being more adventurous or taking greater risks. Disbelief of how fast the days and months moved. One minute the trees are budding and the next, weather warnings of a winter deep freeze.
I've mentioned in the past that I am not a resolution maker. Yet, I will think of and work toward goals. Goals that are realistic and attainable, encouraging me to set bigger goals.
So, as I look back in time on this past year, there were a couple marks that were set and achieved. One that was especially surprising and exciting - securing a monthly spot as a volunteer freelance writer for an online ministry.
However, there is a nagging sensation in my gut that makes me feel like I missed the bigger mark of experiencing real, inner change. Do I feel any different? Did I grow in the areas I wanted to? That God wanted me to?
While I can be my own worst enemy, as we all can at times, I know that it would have been God, not me, who was keeping me on track, without fully realizing it. He would have been the one shaping me into a woman with more integrity, compassion, and love this year than last.
He would have been the one bringing opportunities that I, initially, didn't pay attention to, and the one who would have helped me understand things never figured out on my own, had I not prayed for understanding.
Incredible.
As much as the world tells us that it's all about external success and achievement, it really isn't. It's not about how much you made or what you bought. It's not even about how much you donated to charity or your church.
It's about you. The part of you that longs for something greater than social status and fame. It's the core of who you want to be that will make a worthwhile impact in the lives of others.
It's the realization that you no longer want to be self-centered but others-centered. You want to be more than in the past. I want to be more this year than last year. I want to grow in ways that the world won't recognize or celebrate.
So, while I can beat myself up for the things that, maybe, I should have accomplished in the past twelve months, there is so much more and it had to begin on the inside. I need it to be on the inside for it to matter.
Instead of looking back and making note of what should or shouldn't have happened, I'm looking forward. I'm taking what I experienced, learned and struggled with last year, and will use it to grow this year. This causes me to believe that I haven't missed the mark but am right on target.
Encouragement for the week:
What happens inside of you when you ponder the last twelve months of 2017? What feelings surface?
If you feel as though you have missed the mark, think again. You might just be on target.
If you are a Christian reading this, you know it's not about the material or professional that matters. Aim for the target to grow and change for God this coming year.
If you are not a Christian reading this, you can look for Jesus and you will find Him. He has great plans for you that include helping you grow and change into the person you long to be.
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