The Real Reason

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When someone I love is hurting, it's painful to stand by, being unable to do something to lessen their pain and to know what to say. Praying, for me, has been a way of helping.

At this time of year, our hearts should be filled with joy and excitement to spend time with friends and family. We should be looking forward to festive meals, relaxation, laughter, and reflection on the reason behind the season.

For years, this season used to mean loneliness, rejection, hurt, and without cause to celebrate, for me. So, it's easy to understand the plight of friends and family who struggle at Christmastime.

The reasons are many behind not feeling all too merry or engaging in the meaning of this time of year. Like having your home broken into, like my loved one did, or facing upcoming chemo treatments in the New Year, as dear friends of mine are.

My heart cries out, "This is so unfair. Why them? Why this time of year, or any time of year for that matter?" Though the questions go unanswered, it's hard to reconcile these things when hurt, frustration, and confusion are the end products.

As a Christian, while still knowing pain, I have help to heal and restore a hurting heart through my relationship with God and Jesus Christ. That is the reason for my hope and joy. A hope and joy that remains a great desire of mine to share with others.

Along with a want to reach into the depths of another person's pain filled life and pull them into hope. Hope to live another day, to trudge ahead, to dream again. Hope to look beyond the brutal reality and see the absolute truth that things will be okay and the fog will fade away with the rising sun.

So, as I celebrate another Christmas and Jesus' birth, the real reason for the season, hope stirs and rises within me. A hope I desire for those who are hurting. Not just for those I know, but for everyone who don't yet know the promise and joy that hope in Jesus brings.

Encouragement for the week:

You are loved. In your loneliness, your broken relationship, the loss of security, or whatever hurt you are facing, you are loved. Beyond measure and beyond your own understanding. There is nothing you have to do to earn this love. It's yours for the asking.

I know you're hurting, especially this time of year. I have been where you are, in that place of hurt.

I understand. I care and desire that you know the same hope and joy I found, not only for this time of year, but all year round.

If you are a Christian, it is my hope that you remember the real reason for this season, Jesus Christ, and that celebrating His birth brings fresh joy and hope into your heart.

If you are not a Christian, you can look for Jesus and you will find Him. Reach out to Him and experience all the hope, joy, and peace that He desires to give you.

Thank you for being a dedicated reader and follower of my blog this past year. Your support and comments are greatly appreciated and encouraging to me. May you all have a very Merry Christmas. May you get caught up in the little things and do away with the trivial. May you enjoy each moment of this holy season. Time is precious and the amount we each have on this earth is unknown, so may you enjoy your life.

Detour Ahead

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You're going along, life is good, when suddenly - a speed bump, blind curve, or detour happens. Sometimes, a major life detour like a change in your desired career, an unexpected health issue or being burglarized.

While out for a couple hours running errands, someone I care about was robbed. Their home was breached and they were left feeling violated.

Everything they had come to know and feel secure about, had been changed. They had a pit in their stomach and as I watched them go through the realization of what had taken place, I felt violated too.

While the thieves didn't take a lot in terms of possessions, something much more valuable was stolen - the reassurance of security. We began to wonder how the theft could have happened without anyone noticing.

Maybe they were 'casing' the place days or, even, weeks in advance. Perhaps, it was someone who knew the house and occupant and wanted what was inside. These are things we may never have answers for.

Yet we're thankful that it was only things that they took and no one was harmed. That there are things that will happen in life we'll be unable to fathom or understand but if our lives and relationships remain intact, the material things don't matter.

Even though this horrible incident happened, it made me think about how fleeting life can be. When my life takes a detour, I am so grateful for my relationship with God and His Word to guide, teach, and comfort me.

While I began to think how unsettling it would have been if my home had been broken into, I was quickly reminded of a verse in the Bible that appears in a book called Matthew.

Matthew was one of Jesus' (God's Son) disciples who followed Him, closely, through His short ministry of three years. In this particular verse, Matthew is writing the words spoken by Jesus, who said, "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal" (Chapter 6, verse 19). Wow.

Jesus could not have been more wise to say what He did. Not only did it put the robbery into perspective but it was also an appropriate reminder for me about how it shouldn't be about the material things we possess while we are living out our time here on Earth.

That it's more critical for us to be concerned about the relationships in our lives. To ensure that we're okay when the bumps in the road happen and to focus on others instead of the tangible 'treasures' taking up room on a bookshelf.

Encouragement for the week:

The stuff we have will wear out, fall apart, and break. Almost everything we own can be replaced while a valued relationship, cannot.

If you have hit a detour in your life, take a pit stop in the valuable relationships of your life and be comforted.

If you are a Christian, you know the keys to success do not lie in what you own. Let your life be all about relationship, both with God and each other.

If you are not a Christian, you can look for Jesus and you will find Him. He longs to be in a relationship with you so that He can help you navigate the blind curves of life.

Just Remain Calm

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After a time of hellish difficulty, what do you do to bring a calming effect? Whether it be a physical, mental, emotional or spiritual difficulty. Does the effect come in the way of a cup of your favorite tea? A good cry? A cozy fire? Maybe a walk in a quiet place?

Lately, I have been trying to remain calm in the midst of returning to part time work after being unemployed for twenty-one months. I have to admit that while there was gratitude, I was also freaking out.

While it was the beginning of a new adventure in a role I had never done before, it was something that I knew would be an extraordinary adjustment. I would have to re-think my schedule and squeeze things I did in a week into a couple days off. There would be much more planning and arranging involved than before.

It is somewhat of an overstatement to say that I was feeling overwhelmed. Even though I knew that the new job was exactly what God was calling me to, it didn't necessarily mean that I was ready for it. There was anxiety about how well I would do and learn within an office environment again.

To be honest, I wasn't looking forward to the new chapter in my life and there were many long conversations where I spilled my guts about how scared I was to lose some freedom and be seconded to a desk. I guess I imagined things manifesting themselves a bit differently when I started working again.

Yet, when it came to the night before my first day back in the blue collar world, there was one person I could truly count on to talk me down 'off the ledge' of my inner turmoil - God. I began to recall situations of the past when God came to my rescue when I was 'losing my cheese' about fearful things that I knew were coming, so this situation was no different. It was obvious what I had to do.

I sat on the couch in silence and began to read God's Word. More specifically, times in the Bible when people struggled with their present circumstances and how God intervened in their thoughts of fear and anxiety.

It wasn't long before I felt the calm and steady reassurance of God's voice in the text to the people who worried - and there were a lot of people throughout its history who fretted - from kings to prophets.

There is a book in the Bible called Isaiah. In chapter 7 of the book, it talks about a king by the name of Ahaz who was petrified about fighting against a group that was very powerful. In fact, Ahaz's anxiety was so extreme about this army that his own people were shaking with fear.

Isaiah, a great prophet, was directed by God to deliver a special and personal message to Ahaz. He said to Ahaz, "Be careful, keep calm and don't be afraid." (Isaiah 7:4). Isaiah then went on to tell Ahaz that his military efforts against the enemy he dreaded, would be successful and the land would be laid waste.

Granted, this was an extreme encouragement in a very extreme set of circumstances but, ultimately, Ahaz was greatly encouraged and succeeded in overcoming his own strife. So, in turn, I was encouraged. That no matter what I was facing with going back to work, I had the calming effect within needed to get me through any scenario I'll face as I transition into this new season of life.

Encouragement for the week:

Are you facing something in your life that is causing you a lot of anxiety? I am there and completely understand.

It's hard to believe that you'll ever get over the feeling of being afraid...but you will.

If you are a Christian, you have the wonderful reassurance offered through God's Word and covering prayer. You can be calm and confident in all you do because you have these supernatural tools.

If you are not a Christian, you can look for Jesus and you will find Him. He has the beautifully calming reassurance that you are desperate for in your life right now.

How You Doin'?

No. Really. How are you? Please know that I am not asking out of obligation but of a genuine interest in how you are doing! I really want to know.

I've noticed, more and more, that our society seems to operate at an arm's length. That some people, while having the best intentions, ask the above question not really wanting an answer. A real answer.

The kind of real answer that could be messy or uncomfortable for the person who asked the question in the first place.

An answer wrought with pain, hurt, isolation, rejection, or loneliness that may even cause fear in the questioner because it's now becoming a commitment.

A commitment to sit down and listen to someone who feels like their life is falling apart. Someone who might see you as their only source of hope, empathy and compassion.

Their only lifeline to getting through the pain and another day. So why do so many people ask the question if they are afraid of the answer? Why are people so afraid to ask the question in the first place?

In the Bible, there is a verse that talks about being in the trenches with another person during difficult times. It talks about weeping with those who weep, mourning with those who mourn but also rejoicing with those who rejoice or celebrate.

To have compassion and empathy. To walk in the other person's shoes, telling them that you are there for them. Truly there.

While their hurt may not be similar to anything that you have experienced, being hurt is universal. Shouldn't care and compassion be universal too?

Unfortunately, it isn't and there are many who choose to remain at arm's length. I am not one of those persons.

I know what it's like to hurt beyond the ability to describe the intensity and excruciating nature of the hurt.

I also know what it's like to be walked past by others who never ask how I am. That hurts too but I don't judge or condemn anyone who may not want to ask the question.

Instead, I make a conscious effort to seek out the lonely, the hurting, the rejected. I choose to stand in the trenches with those who are feeling pain beyond anything they've experienced before.

I choose to be there with them and pray for them when words fail me or my words fail to comfort them and, instead, I sit with them sharing in a dark piece of their world.

I choose to be a compassionate, empathetic, and caring woman because, for me, it's the right thing to do.

At one time, I was a child who loved to play in the mud. Okay, even as an adult, I still love to play in the mud. I don't mind being in the muck or getting dirty.

I don't run or shy away from the messy or the uncomfortable because I've been in the mud of life experiences and the hurt that can erupt out of some of those experiences.

Long ago, I used to be a very off-putting, cold-hearted, and evil-minded woman. Never again. By the grace and love of a good God, I have been saved from that.

As a result of that change, I want to walk alongside those who feel hopeless and frayed. I want to be someone who is never afraid to ask the question...how are you?

Encouragement for the week:

How are you doing today? Was it hard to get out of bed? Were you hoping that today would be different...better?

It's okay if you're not doing well. We all have moments when we're down.

If you are a Christian, you know that God cares about everything in your life, especially how you're doing. Turn to Him and find the comfort of His arms waiting to give you peace and comfort in your day.

It you are not a Christian, you can look for Jesus and you will find Him. He cares for you and how you're doing. He is waiting to give you the relief you need in your difficult time.

Adrian!!!

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Boxing is a formidable and unforgiving sport. You must have skill, speed, and the utmost strategy to defeat your opponent. Ideally, you want it to end in a knockout, to your favor.

In Rocky IV, Rocky Balboa's friend, Apollo Creed, challenges a massive and elite Soviet Russian boxer named Ivan Drago. In spite of Rocky's incessant warnings against the fight, Apollo takes on the Soviet brute. Ivan's superior athleticism and physical build are no match for Apollo and he dies in the ring.

Rocky is so enraged by the outcome and Drago's obvious indifference at having killed Balboa's long time friend, that Rocky challenges Ivan to a fight in the Soviet Union on Christmas Day. Rocky takes on an unorthodox training regimen that, along with sheer determination, brings him victory over the giant, ending in a knockout.

Whenever I hear about the Rocky movies, this one specifically, I am quickly reminded of a similar story that takes place in the Bible. It is found in a book by the name of 1 Samuel. Within that book, a story is told about a young sheep herder by the name of David.

He has been working in the fields for many years keeping his father's sheep. It hasn't been a lazy vocation. David has been challenged by predators that have come to attack and kill his flock. I guess you could say that David was a Rocky in training.

Not only did David have to keep his sheep together at all times, but the predators in question consisted of a lion and a bear. Both of which David killed with his bare hands. Rather impressive. Yet, little did David know that these events were part of a greater training against a giant, a literal giant.

A Philistine by the name of Goliath who stood over nine feet tall and was terrorizing the Israelites - a group which David was a part of. David was also a man who had a close relationship with God and trusted God to help him kill the lion and bear that had threatened David's flock.

So, with nothing more than a slingshot and five smooth rocks that David had picked from a nearby stream, he ran to the battle line to face Goliath, challenging him to a match.

David was so confident and courageous in God that he called out the giant as being as good as dead saying, "This day the LORD will hand you over to me, and I'll strike you down..." - 1 Samuel 17:46. Taking aim at the Philistine, David slung one, smooth stone, deep into the forehead of Goliath and he fell facedown, dead.

All of the training and solitude had paid off for David and the Israelites were freed from the tyrant, Goliath and the rest of the Philistines. This story of David always helps me to believe in myself and know that because I have God in my life, anything is possible.

No matter what situation I face, there is the great force of God who has my back. Helping me to be strong and courageous in the face of fear and anxiety. Along with a reassuring peace that remains immovable in uncertain times and intimidating circumstances.

I figure if David could be that courageous to take on a giant and win, there's really nothing in my own life that I can't overcome because of the strength and confidence I have as a result of being in a relationship with God.

Encouragement for the week:

Is there a giant in your life that you would love nothing more than to knock out? You're definitely not alone.

Whether it's anxiety over starting a new job or a fear of ending a toxic friendship, you have what it takes to overcome and defeat the situation.

If you are a Christian, you know you have a mighty team in your corner to help you take on anything or anyone. You have the power and presence of God, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit as your trainers and support system and they will give you the courage to win.

If you are not a Christian, you can look for Jesus and you will find Him. He along with the Father and the Holy Spirit will enable you to face any situation with boldness and strength.

Take A Pause

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Pronounced a couple different ways (seelah, saylah), the word Selah, as defined by Wikipedia, means several things. From "rock" or "like a rock", to "stop and listen" and "pause, think of that". It may also indicate a break in a song.

For me, Selah has become a meaningful practice in my life as I've applied the meaning to stop, pause, and reflect, much more than the other meanings given by Wikipedia. Often, I will find a quiet place to reflect deeply about things and events in my life that have had an impact on who I am as a woman.

Some of the things I stop to think about and reflect on have been both positive and negative in nature. The negative reflective points have been a source of lessons learned, the greatest being wisdom in how to better navigate my way through negative or difficult times to come.

It's at times of reflection that have gleaned the most insight, refreshment and peace. I know that even though I am a Christian and have chosen to follow Jesus, I am not perfect and need a lot of guidance and grace. Mistakes are often made and help, frequently needed. If it wasn't for finding Jesus, I wouldn't be here.

At the end of the day, it's by reflecting that I can come into an appreciation of where I've been and where I am going. That the mistakes made in the past have no hold on me now and do not determine or define my future.

I'm definitely not the same person today as years ago and that is a good thing. I don't believe we're meant to be complacent in thought or action but to go through the tough stuff, brush ourselves off and keep moving forward.

Encouragement for the week:

Have you ever wanted to go back in time and re-do something that you still regret doing?

Of course, we all wish that. The reality is, we can't but we can take time to think things out when met with a similar situation today.

To take a pause, insert wisdom, and do things differently that will be beneficial.

If you are a Christian, you know that pausing to seek wisdom from God will only benefit us when facing difficult situations and decisions. Continue to take time, pausing and reflecting, before acting.

If you are not a Christian, you can look for Jesus and you will find Him. He is ready to help you make better decisions for your life.

Deep Introspection

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Introspection is defined as the, ‘Contemplation of one’s own thoughts, feelings, and sensations; self-examination; heart-searching.’

As I daily live out this life of following God and surrendering to what God wishes to do in and through me, as well as remaining physically ready for whatever comes next, there exists a common denominator within me. One that causes me great introspection throughout this faith walk. I suspect it will keep resonating within me until the denominator is quenched once and for all…but can it? The denominator I speak of is feeling alone.

I have often found myself standing in the midst of people, even chaos, and being unable to deny the unmistakable gnawing of feeling so alone. “But you are not alone, my Child,” God says. “I know I’m not totally alone God, for I have You", I reply. “But I really do feel alone, Lord", I add.

I can’t seem to explain or describe my ‘aloneness’ in relation to what that feeling stirs within me. Quite often I have to be content to feel alone and move forward while questions of, “Will I ever stop feeling like a foreigner in a strange land? Will I ever stop feeling so alone?”, make a mess of my already perplexed mind.

They say, “Don’t have any regrets.” Before becoming a Christian, I lived a smeared and dirty life filled with regrets. Regret for all the horrible things I did and how unworthy those horrible things made me feel about myself. Then when I became a Christian, all of that changed in an instant and I was released from every regret and sinful deed. I was freed.

Now I live a life knowing I will never have regrets because when my heart is impressed to help someone, I’ll help. When I’m prompted to tell someone I care or that I love them, that's what I'll do. Just because I feel alone, doesn’t mean I can’t extend a word of encouragement to someone else who might be feeling the same.

We all long to be loved and cared for and our hearts really do cry out...for something. Something beyond us and our understanding. I often cry out to God from my heart for all the desires that are housed there but the best takes time and that means waiting.

So I have to wait and I have to be patient. I can barely type that word without laughing out loud for I am not the most patient woman but my many experiences with God have, well, stretched me to grow into a state of being patient as I, often, need to be.

As long as I have known God I know He has a sense of humor. I can’t always say that it’s the kind of humor that I can appreciate but it does make Him easier to relate to. He knows my inner hurts and needs and He is always working in me and my life, even though I may not see any progress. In turn, I know the commitment I have made to Him because of wanting His very best for me.

As for my aloneness? Well, someone reminded me of how alone Paul must have felt. Paul is a fellow in the Bible who was called to do God’s work and he was opposed a lot for doing so. So much that he only had a few good friends who stood by him as he did the work he needed to do. My heart goes out to Paul, but it was as though his dedication to God always seemed to mask that aloneness and he just kept going.

In my own experience, every time I've been met with this feeling of being alone, God has always met me there, saying in His still, small voice, "You're never alone, beloved, for I am here with you." His voice soothes and satiates me until the next time I feel alone, for it won't truly be satisfied until I'm with Him in eternity.

Encouragement for the week:

Ever feel alone? It's a natural, human response that we all go through from time to time.

How do you fill the loneliness? Is the solution lasting or fleeting?

If you are a Christian, you know how a dedicated life to God can be lonely sometimes but you also know that nothing truly satisfies like a deep, intimate relationship with God. He will fill you to overflowing and meet you in the times of feeling alone.

If you are not a Christian, you can look for Jesus and you will find Him. He can fill the spaces of loneliness in ways the world never will. He is the 'something' your heart is longing for.