Cause And Effect

**Photo courtesty of www.bing.com**

Cause and effect is a relationship between events or things, where one is the result of the other or others. This is a combination of action and reaction (taken from examples.yourdictionary.com). For example, if a person smokes, there is a possibility that he or she may develop lung cancer. Or, if a glass is filled too full, the water will overflow, as seen above.

In our day to day lives, we can often encounter the principle of cause and effect. The principle can be seen on various scales, like if you eat poorly for a lengthy period of time, weight gain is inevitable. Or, that a gambling addiction can cause financial ruin. We have all experienced cause and effect on some level.

Recently, a man came across his own cause and effect...dilemna. It involved an inner battle, deciding between getting back into a familiar, but disliked, job situation that would have a negative effect on his mental, physical, and spiritual well being, or have the patience and faith to believe that something better would come along.

To an outsider, the answer may be quite simple. Take the well paying, short term position and tough it out while building up the bank account. After all, the pros of accepting the role outweighed the cons of the deliberation, or did they?

For this man, they didn't because he has come into a better understanding of himself as it relates to his faith. He has reached a profound place that is demanding he make wiser, more honoring decisions that will, ultimately, have lasting effects. Personal effects. Eternal effects. Here is where the dilemma deepens.

As people...humans, we are prone to wanting our own way at all times, no matter what. We want what feels good and suits us best. Anything uncomfortable or unreasonable that doesn't fall in line with our 'life plan' is quickly done away with. We don't want to be inconvenienced or make any sacrifices on the way to fulfilling our selfish ambitions.

The man, the one facing a difficult and, most likely, compromising decision has admitted to wanting, or not wanting, things his way. While logic and practicality have always been a part of his makeup, there is now something deeper that gnaws at him. A gnawing he can no longer ignore but adds to his inner battle.

Does he compromise his values and beliefs in exchange for security? Who wouldn't want that? We all long to have financial security. We want to know that everything will be okay as long as we save like a mad man to retire at a certain age and live a lifestyle we have become accustomed to. We'll even put a little extra aside for the unexpected.

After all, we might want to travel extensively and spoil ourselves on a few things we've never experienced. There's nothing wrong with that, after all, is there? It's fine to want the best in life and to compromise a few things here and there as long as it isn't illegal, right?

What about the compromise of peace, contentment, and joy? Would you be willing to lay those things aside to work a job you hate in exchange for a bigger bank account and guilt? For the man in this situation, he is not willing. He wants more than just the peace of mind knowing he did the right thing even though it meant choosing a completely different path.

A path that might bring mocking and disbelief from friends and family. A path that, rarely walked, holds confidence and a clear conscience having done what's right, wise, and noble. See, he wants to live a life that honors God. He wants to know that the choices he made throughout his life meant something. Not just to himself, but to his kids and grandkids.

That he can leave a legacy of character and integrity behind, in hopes of others charting the same course. That he will live according to his values and beliefs, without waivering. That compromise, in any form, is unacceptable.

So, after being in this dilemma for over a week, the man has a deep peace in saying, "No" to the job and waiting for the best to come along. He can rest assured that he won't compromise himself for things that are contrary to what has been deeply set into his heart as a result of his relationship with God.

Though some may see his decision as crazy and unbelievable, there is no mistaking in living out a life of faith with a knowledge that the best is right around the corner. With a little bit more time and, certainly, patience, this man's cause will have a lasting and eternal effect.

Encouragement for the week:

Have you ever found yourself in a cause that would bring a plethora of effects you weren't quite prepared for?

Would you be willing to compromise yourself for a short period of time in exchange for security? If you were, would it really be worth it?

If you are a Christian, you know that you have been set apart by God to make better, wiser decisions that come along. That the peace you have because of those wiser decisions is far better than the detrimental effect that compromise can have. Never falter on your values and beliefs when the world pressures you to. Stay strong.

If you are not a Christian, you can look for Jesus and find the peace that comes in making the right decisions with a clear and guiltless conscience. That a good night's sleep is worth doing the right thing as part of having a relationship with God.

The Cone Of Silence

**Photo courtesty of www.bing.com**

There is nothing more satisfying than to sit in solitude, peace and just be, and there is nothing more frustrating than sitting in the peace and quiet when all you really want is to be struck upside the head with an amazing revelation.

Being in the country has moulded me in ways that the city never could. Each morning, there is the privilege of sitting outside (well, during the summer months), soaking up the morning sun and listening to the melodious tunes of local birds inhabiting the many trees. It's nothing short of divine and incredibly calming.

The entire world seems to stand still as I glance across the landscape and marvel at the surroundings. There is an incredible opportunity to reflect and meditate on anything and everything that might fall on my heart. Some things are pleasant, while others bring a bit of heaviness.

I'm an emotional creature at the best of times, or is that the worst of times? In any case, if there is a conversation that causes me to well up, undoubtedly, tears will follow. It's irritating when all I want to do is say what has to be said without tears streaming down my face.

While it may not be a shortcoming, getting emotional is not something I consider to be my most admirable quality. However, I can't help but admit that it's a definite improvement over all the years that I only streamed profane and hateful words to people.

It appears a softening has taken place but does it have to be so extreme at times? Some may call it expressing passion, empathy, or compassion, but depending on the situation and the conversation, it could be considered unnecessary.

When there are times of wanting to know something about my life and I begin to pray for that very thing, the returning silence can be deafening. Kind of like being in a cone of silence, along with the above canine. A dog looking completely unimpressed because he just wants to get on with things but the cone doesn't allow him to.

All of a sudden, he has to halt his activities or risk a beheading in trying to go through the doggie door with something that isn't meant to. I think, in some small way, I can relate to man's best friend and his plight.

At times, I feel like I'm wearing a cone. That answers are being withheld or I'm being protected from myself and some of the things I could do, purely out of frustration or impatience. That it is a tool being used to slow me down in order to give things a second, even third, thought.

God knows me a little too well which is a good thing otherwise I would, constantly, jump ahead and do something unwise. So, does that mean eating a tub of ice cream to drown my impatience would be unwise? Only if my blood sugar has anything to say about it.

As much as the frustration or impatience may increase to the point of unbearable, there is something to be said for slowing down, being silent, and leaning toward the things of wisdom. God speaks a lot about wisdom in the Bible and, quite frankly, after living the messed up life before God came along, I would be a fool not to choose the wiser way.

Heck, if I could get away with it, I would have someone else, preferably God, make tough decisions for me because I know the outcome would be the best. Maybe it's the fear of making a bad decision that causes me to air this preference. After all, decisions, even the smallest, have consequences.

I was reminded, recently, that decisions have the capacity to bring regret. Even the best laid intention, within a decision, can turn sour if wisdom and honesty hasn't been a part of the process. So, when it's best to not make any decision, about anything, isn't it more effective and pleasing to be left in a cone of silence and just wait?

To hear nothing and feel peace instead of hearing too many thoughts racing through your head and being overwhelmed by anxiety and doubt? You, along with myself, may very well be shouting a resounding, "Yes!"

It's often said that silence is golden. Jesus knew the power of silence even as He was being led to the Cross to be crucified. I'm not sure how much self control it took for Him to be still and quiet of voice and soul, but I'm not so sure I could do the same knowing the outcome.

Overall, silence can be beneficial. It causes us to pause and realize that the silence isn't, necessarily, a bad thing. That the geographical and situational location you and I are in, at this very moment, is exactly where we're supposed to be. Otherwise, things would change.

Whether you're trying to make a big decision, waiting on a word of encouragement, or trying to find peace, silence can be the best ally against regret. Even though it takes everything in you to not be disappointed if an answer doesn't come right away.

Encouragement for the week:

Are you fighting to be silent? Is anxiety, impatience, and frustration tempting you to make some unwise decisions?

Whether you are seeking a life changing direction or wanting a little encouragement, relax and take the silence as a good sign. If you have peace, the silence is golden. Trust me when I tell you, as much as you are frustrated and impatient, the answer will not arrive any sooner.

If you are a Christian, you know how frustrating waiting on God for some direction or answers can be but He knows all of that and has the best in mind for you and me. Keep trusting and obeying Him.

If you are not a Christian, look for Jesus and you will find Him and all that God has in store for you, even in the moments of silence. He holds the peace, calm, and contentment you are, currently, looking for in your life.

I Don't Wanna

"Your plants are an orchard of pomegranates with choice fruits, with henna and nard, 

nard and saffron, calamus and cinnamon, with every kind of incense tree, 

with myrrh and aloes and all the finest spices." - Song of Songs 4: 13-14

**Photography by Melissa Talbot**

Is it just me or does being a responsible adult seem overrated? Especially considering we spend most of our adolescent life planning out all the things we'll do once we enter the world of adulthood. Nothing was greater than reaching the pinnacle of moving out on your own and being able to do whatever, whenever, however.

You would have your own place to entertain friends, be able to go out to clubs, and stay up as late as you wanted to. However, that didn't pay the rent or put Kraft dinner in your belly (for those of you out there who relied, heavily, on this culinary staple).

No, the fairy tale life of your older self soon fell into what's still known as reality and as we all know, reality tends to bite from time to time. So, you pull up your socks and get a job. Hopefully, one that pays good while giving you the freedom of weekends off to enjoy what's left of the fairy tale you thought being an adult would be.

There are times when I will be in the presence of children who say how they can't wait to be a grown up. More and more, I find the words, "Don't be in too much of a hurry", leave my lips. However, I used to be where they were, thinking that being young had too many drawbacks. You are under the watchful eyes of your parents who, in their best efforts, guide you along the road of your young life.

They discipline you when they need to, even though you believe putting gum in your sister's hair is completely valid and pretty. They keep you safe from things they know can harm you, otherwise, you would be hanging from the chandelier in the foyer of your house. You see it as adventurous, your parents see it as a trip to the emergency room. Potato, potaughto.

We're in constant rebellion against being too small to have full independence and being too big for our britches. I'm not sure there is ever a happy medium, but I'm sure that each kid, at some point in their life, longs to be their parents and experience what they believe to be freedom.

Let me assure you that the younger years should be lived out with excitement and awe because once the clock strikes twelve and you turn eighteen, a greater countdown begins. Not only will there be a long list of things you'll get to do when you're on your own in this new found 'freedom', but you will be paying for things you never thought possible.

Like car insurance, health insurance, and food. Yes, that's right, food. Something free that magically appeared on your parent's table for eighteeen years of life, now costs money. The once beautifully presented meatloaf is now mystery meat in a can and Mom's famous lasagne has turned into cup 'o' noodles. Yep, you've hit the jackpot becoming an adult.

We all have to grow up some time and if things went right in your childhood, your parents instilled a strong work ethic, taught you how to boil an egg, and went over basic car maintenance as a few survival tools they knew you would need once you left the nest.

I received all those things from my parents, and so much more, including invitations to come back to my childhhood home for dinner once in a while. As much as I yearned to be an adult as a kid, the appeal of now having that shiny prize was slowly and steadily wearing off.

Working for a living only to give thirty percent back to the government was offensive, to say the least. Paying off bills each month became a stressful event. Grocery shopping was short which rarely made it sweet. I liked food but there never seemed to be enough money to get everything I wanted. You still need to find a way to cook if the power gets shut off.

Thankfully, I didn't get into the situation that I couldn't pay the utility bills but there were many times when a little food had to last a long time. So, you got the things you knew would last - pasta, bread, cereal, and peanut butter - until the next paycheck.

Yep, being an adult meant living large...ly at a disadvantage if you weren't consistently employed. Sacrifices become the norm when making a decision between going out for the night or having gas for the car.

Not to say that all adults struggle because there are many who budget things out to ensure all the responsibilities are met prior to engaging in any entertainment at week's end. Maybe I struggled a lot because of years spending more than what I had and it, eventually, landed me in bankruptcy. Some lessons need to be learned the hard way and I can honestly say, I learned that lesson.

After going through the embarrassment and humiliation of losing everything, it became easier to adopt an attitude of humility while re-learning everything I thought I knew about money. Unfortunately, once I got through the period of time required to receive a bankruptcy discharge, the only way I thought I could repair my credit was to get into debt.

As irresponsible as that decision was, things turned around a couple years ago when I had a strong desire to get out of debt. I sold everything I could and did what needed to be done to earn extra money, including picking bottles. There is no greater liberation than to be debt free. I knew it had to be done and, thankfully, it was something God wanted done in my life.

Today, I am still debt free and plan to stay that way. There is no greater trap than to owe someone else money. Oh, adulthood and all of its realities.

While I'm grateful for all the things I have been able to do as an adult, there are certainly many days when I would, happily, trade my responsibilities for reversion to my childhood. When all I had to do is clean up my room and be back at the house in time for dinner, which was provided for free.

Yes, it is now in my forties that I re-think the spectacular draw of adulthood as bogus. When I sit on my couch and face the day with the heartfelt words, "I don't wanna be responsible today." When I'm struck with the realization that this adulthood isn't over yet, not by a long shot. So, for now, I'll march to my fridge, grab a popsicle and revert to my childhood, if only for a little while.

Encouragement for the week:

Ever feel like you are done being responsible? That you would like to pass the adult torch to someone else to carry forward on your behalf?

While I know how you feel, there is still that compulsion that tells you and me to keep going.

The Bible says that life, as a Christian, is much like a race and that even though we get tired and fed up with the day to day things we have to do as grown ups, we still need to not only run that race but run it well to the finish line.

If you are a Christian, you know it's not easy being an adult and there are times when we would rather sit it out, but God calls us to be strong and responsible so that we can be used by Him. Keep running the race because the greatest prize is yet to come.

If you are not a Christian, look for Jesus and you will find Him and all the strength He has to keep you going during the days you want to take a break from being a grown up.

Time's Up!

"Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?" - Matthew 6: 26

**Photography by Melissa Talbot**

Turn over your papers and put down your pencils. Your time is up. Ugh. That's what would creep into my heart each time I didn't finish a test on time in school...dread. It's fair to say that as much as the information was crammed into my brain, it seemed to ooze out at crunch time.

I often panicked on test day and as the class in which the test was being administered approached, it was like a tribe of drummers were beating on my cerebral cortex. My palms got sweaty, the heart raced, and it became really difficult to swallow. You could say, for the most part, I choked when it came to tests.

As much as I disliked school, I disliked tests even more but there was always something inside that made me try harder to memorize the material that was tested on. Special attention was given to the items that the teacher made reference to. Granted, I never bombed a test but came awfully close...many times. The only classes I excelled in were the easy subjects of physical education and typing. Those were no brainers, thankfully.

These days, there isn't really anything that causes me to panic, well, almost anything, Recently, I got some disheartening news that something I thought had plenty of time left on, had just run out. Without warning, a security blanket disappeared. I was shocked and in awe of what had happened.

Panic came. My mind started to race and what seemed like a million things, were rushing through my head all at once. How could this be? How could my time be up? It was unexpected and, seemingly, unfair. In a way, I was prepared for this but not fully prepared. It's difficult when the squeeze of a timeline comes to an end much earlier than anticipated.

One of the key components that calm my mind and heart is a long walk. Out here in the countryside, there is no shortage of quiet places to be or long, deserted roads to walk on. The fresh air clears the mind and soothes the racing heart. It was exactly what I needed.

As I walked and pondered what had happened, an incredible peace began to set in, like it usually does on a walkabout. My focus turned to the simple crunch of my sneakers against the crushed rock on the road. Even though it was a power walk, my heart slowed and mind cleared.

Thoughts began to change into realistic and practical steps that would have to come next. That with great care and prayer, the questions sitting at the back of my mind would show up with answers. I knew that the calm wasn't just me, it was from a far greater source.

It came from the years of experience I had with God, being through numerous and far worse situations, that told me, "It's going to be fine." In those moments, I knew that God's got this. There has never been a difficult situation in my Christian life that God hasn't been there and always brought a solution. I just had to wait.

So, that's what I did. That's what I'm still doing, knowing that things and thoughts will come together for the next steps in a new direction. In a way, it's pretty exciting and freeing to not know what comes next in life. Not to say there isn't a wee bit of fear deep down because there is, but in having no fear of change quickly dispels the dread-like fear.

When time is up on things in our lives, it can be a challenge to not give up on ourselves or others. When you feel like the time is up for your marriage or a long time friendship because of a simple misunderstanding. When you feel like you have gotten to a stage of your life where you perceive to have no real purpose.

When there is nothing left inside of you to try and make ends meet, yet another month, as the bills outnumber your income. When all you want to do is stop what you're doing and cry. It's okay to do that. It always makes me feel better to have a good cry when difficulty strikes.

In reality, time isn't up on your situation. There are ways to make a difficult situation, work out. In a misunderstanding, things can be talked out. In a seemingly purposeless life, you can spend time with others who have no one in their lives. In a money crunch situation, there are ways to make some extra money.

For me, the time may be up on one thing but the clock has, actually, been re-set for another. I know things will turn around as long as I stick close to God and make the most of this next chapter of my life, no matter what lies ahead. I know that while you might be feeling like you're in a mess, where the clock has run out, it hasn't. It's been fully wound and is ready to count off the moments of a new and brighter direction.

Encouragement for the week:

Do you feel like time has run out in an area of your life? Let me assure you that it hasn't. In fact, it's more like a pause before setting out into a new, uncharted territory. There are better things ahead that you never thought possible.

While I still don't know what is to come, because of my relationship with God, I'm ready for whatever is ahead with wonder and some excitement. My prayer is that you will feel that way too.

If you are a Christian, this life is one of adventure and excitement. It is also one of the unknown that can be scary from time to time but we have a great God who only has great things in store for His children. Don't hug the shoreline too tightly.

If you are not a Christian, look for Jesus and you will find Him and all the adventure He brings in following Him, without fear that time is up.

Check!

"The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul..." - Psalm 23: 1-3

**Photography by Melissa Talbot**

I'm not much for lists but when it comes to shopping for food, it's a must. I have to make sure that the things I really want and need are on there while staying on a budget. After twenty minutes, or so, a meticulously thought out list appears with groups of items to be bought at their respective store. Of course, some room is left for the things that will come across my path while food hunting, causing excitement and a curiosity to try. Yes, I get excited shopping for food. Guilty as charged.

In the movie 'The Bucket List', a pair of cancer patients played by Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman, while facing their own mortality, decide to comprise a list of the things they want to do before they, well, kick the bucket.

They go from skydiving to race car driving, from laughing until they cry to kissing the most beautiful girl (Jack Nicholson character's grand-daughter), from sitting at the top of an Egyptian pyramid to helping a complete stranger.

Each time I watch the movie, there is something that prompts me to make a list of things I would like to do before dying. With deep and long thought, I come up short of a significant list like they did. Maybe it's because a lot of what I really wanted to do in life has already been done sans list. Like international travel, adrenaline rushes, culinary gambles, and finding true love (giving birth to my son).

So, for the most part, I have already done most of the things that I always wanted to do. There were even things that happened, unrealized, I wanted to do until I did them, purely by blessing. Now that I am older, the list is taking on a different form. While there are a couple places I would still like to see (Israel and Bora Bora), I need there to be more depth behind the bullet points in my life.

I want it to be more about checking off boxes, not making lists. There needs to be a purpose behind the things chosen to do and the reason behind the choice. Are they on the checklist because of a need to gain attention or popularity? Are they directed at one person or every person met?

It would be easy to think of one thing and do it well. Like ridding a garden completely of weeds. That is no small task so that's probably why I don't have a massive garden, just a deck garden with veggies and spices in deep pots and planters. Priorities for my life or even for the day, have shifted. They have fallen into a marching order of the things that really need to matter in this one-chance-only life.

Like family and friends. While I may not see or talk to all of my friends and family on a consistent basis, I do pray for them. I pray for peace and hope to fill them and that they would always know they are loved. Often, that comes as a note to them saying, "I was just thinking of you and wanted to say hi!" Or being available to talk when they need more than a text. Check.

I don't want to float through life. I don't want to check the boxes of a superficial list. I don't want it to be all about me, even though those moments can happen often and fiercely. I don't want to be known as a selfish and indulgent woman who never reached out or showed compassion. So, what might the checklist look like for me?

Well, while the list might be long, I hope it will be meaningful. The points or questions of challenge will be well thought out. The spirit in which the points were written will be intentional and genuine. The only danger with making any kind of list is that it can quickly be forgotten or pushed aside, leaving something less fulfilling to take its place.

So, it's a daily decision to keep the checklist in place, somewhere visible, so that the commitment to fully check off each item is honored. That as selfish as I will feel some days, it's more important to ignore myself and reach out to others.

Will I be kind? Check - today was a good day to be kind. Will I be thankful even though things aren't going my way? Maybe tomorrow - I stubbed my toe. Will I help someone in need even though my day is crazy and the ten heavy bags of groceries are ripping my hands off? Check - ouch. Will I think before opening my mouth to deliver a sarcastic comment? Check - silence and grace won out, thankfully.

While I'm not perfect and some of the things on my checklist might take a long time to check off, consistently, it means more to be sincere about the check than to simply do away with it for the sake of getting it out of the way. What will or does your checklist look like?

Encouragement for the week:

Have you ever made a list of things you have always wanted to do? Were some of them things that added to your character and integrity?

While lists are great reminders of what we want or need to do, the items checked off with joy and a sense of satisfaction can mean alot to ourselves and others.

If you are a Christian, lists are just as critical as the items on that list. They can be a result of some great fruit being produced in you.

If you are not a Christian, look for Jesus and you will find Him and all the things that He will bring into your heart that you'll want checked off.

Looking forward to hearing your comments!

I Swear!

"it will burst into bloom; it will rejoice greatly and shout for joy..." - Isaiah 35:2

**Photography by Melissa Talbot**

Abraham Lincoln onced quipped, "We must not promise what we ought not, lest we be called on to perform what we cannot." Basically, Mr. Lincoln is telling us that we shouldn't make promises we can't keep.

People who you make promises to will go one of two ways. They will either hold you to that promise and hound you until you have followed through or they will simply hold no value to that promise and never ask it be fulfilled. Why? I think it has a lot to do with how the person, themselves, views promises and the type of person they see you as. The promise is bond or it's open for breaking.

I never used to be a person of my word. Years ago, when I was living a very sexually immoral and self-destructive life, words didn't hold a lot of value. I never concerned myself with my word being my bond and I never made a promise because I knew that it wouldn't be kept. Kind of sad, but I was smart enough to acknowledge the reality of my life and circumstances at the time. That reality being a promise would never be delivered.

Today, as a result of my life being turned around by God, I take the words that are spoken very seriously and my word is my bond. If I say I am going to do something, I will, and a promise made is followed through on. Seems simple enough doesn't it? So, why are some promises harder to keep than others?

The harder promises to keep, that come to mind, are a big trip somewhere when the monetary resources may not be there or making your child's play when your work schedule is more than insane. Perhaps, the greatest promises made are during a wedding ceremony. The kinds of promises that can be a real challenge to keep after a few years into the marriage.

While each person's intention to keep the promise may be real and sincere, sometimes situations happen that run the risk of breaking one or numerous promises. The person loses their credibility and the words no longer matter. For some, promises are taken very seriously and cause great emotional and psychological harm when they aren't kept.

Broken marriages, children, and friendships are all legitimate forms of collateral damage when the break of a promise occurs. Reality sets in and trust is lost. Quite often, it's hard to recover from the recurring cycle of broken promises. Have you ever made a promise that was challenging to keep?

Recently, I entered into a promise with someone. A promise that had to be made and one I thought, initially, would be easy to keep. Boy, was I misled. We entered into this covenant of sorts on June 1st, for forty days. Forty days. How hard could it be? Well, after being in it for only twelve days now, it is one of the most difficult promises I have made.

I never thought it could be this hard to keep this kind of promise. Granted, it's nothing to do with delivering a trip or showing up at a special event. It's real stuff, with integrity and honor at stake. It's trusting a process to take place while doing away with something meaningful, in hopes of obtaining an amazing outcome. An outcome that could set the course for even more amazing things to come.

Have I been challenged in keeping this promise? Uh, yeah! Do I intend on following through and finishing these next twenty-eight days without breaking that promise? Yes. For me, the words spoken as part of this promise, matter...a lot. I want to continue to be that person, that woman, who does what she says. Even if each day is broken down into ten minute increments in order to cope.

"Just a little longer", I tell myself. The heavy load of the promise has been lightened by my reliance on God to get me through, not only today, but in the days ahead. I confided in a close friend about the promise and she assured me that it would get easier as each day passed. I believed her, even though I haven't felt like it's gotten easier. At the end of the day, the way I get through this journey is a choice.

A choice to focus on other things and not get caught up in the pain of the promise. I am looking forward to the point when things do become easier. For now, I need to occupy my mind and time with things that ease the pressure and heaviness of what needs to be accomplished and the promise that needs to be kept.

Encouragement for the week:

Did you ever make a promise you didn't keep? How did that make you feel? How did the person you made the promise to feel?

We all have good intentions and sincerely wish to follow through but, sometimes, life gets in the way. Let it be life and not ourselves, that gets in the way of being persons of our word and keeper of our promises.

If you are a Christian, you have the promise of God's Word to hold on to, knowing that each promise will be kept. Let us be the same in keeping our word to others.

If you are not a Christian, look for Jesus and you will find Him and all of His great and wonderful promises for you that He is anxious to keep.

Don't Tell Me What To Do!

**Photo taken from www.bling.com/images**

This is, perhaps, one of the most said and favorite statements of children. Heck, I think it's the most used statement by a majority of people on the planet these days. It seems that along with certain freedoms we are given through life, not being told to do something is one of them.

I'm guilty of either saying or thinking this statement, especially recently. It happened when someone I trust was just trying to help. They were giving me advice about an insurance situation that, in reality, I didn't have the breadth of experience they did. I did my best to listen to what they were saying but I was thinking that I knew better. I didn't.

While I followed the advice being given and answered the questions being asked, there was a part of me that felt the need to rebel against the sound words that were being spoken, by relaying my experiences and debating why things would be any different. Even while I was doing this, it made no real sense to do so. So, why did I counter the obvious wisdom and experience of that person?

Then it hit me that this wasn't the first time I have gone against wisdom. In fact, most of my life was made up of arguing against any kind of thought process that didn't fall in line with my own. There were certain things that I had come to know in life and figured that was the way it was always going to be, without question or need for change. Boy, was I wrong and this most recent exchange was evidence of all the years I had deliberately rebelled against people who, truly, knew better and that this person, here and now, cared for me and really just wanted to help.

I was raised by two very strong and capable parents. My mother, especially, taught us kids the importance of not only doing for ourselves but also depending on ourselves, instead of other people, to get us through life. That was my interpretation anyway. It seemed as though I took all that information from my childhood and turned it into an invisible fence around my mind, letting no one enter. Whether they were bang on right or not.

It's like I was bent on going my own way and there was no other option, even though my way was absolutely, without a doubt, wrong for the most part. In a simple car insurance scenario, it appeared that I had reverted to my defiant childhood, standing toe to toe with my nemesis, refusing to back down.

It wasn't until I had a chance to calm myself, take a couple steps back, and really ponder what was happening and how I was reacting, that the words 'I was wrong', came to me. Completely wrong. I had come to 'know' things to be a certain way and that's just the way it was...forever. Why would I change anything? Why would I question anything? Why?

Well, that's how things progress, through questioning. If no one ever questioned anything and just let things go as they were, there is so much that would quickly go off course. Like a drunken captain never being questioned by his crew as to why they were always off course, even though they could smell the booze on his breath. Questioning brings about great discoveries, like cures for diseases that were once, incurable.

Questioning brings about new ideas and, hence, new ways to do things. Easier ways, wiser ways. It's not that the person is faulting or accusing another by questioning. It's a way of gaining insight into how another person thinks the way they do. Such was not the case with me about the car insurance. I was rebelling and making it known and, unfortunately, causing frustration to the other person who was just trying to help me in a situation that showed signs of fallibility.

Suddenly, as things were coming to a breaking point, I could feel myself crumbling and started to cry from realizing I had been taken advantage of, for a lot of years. It was heartbreaking for me, to see that my best interests were not first but that money was. I felt betrayed and more than angered that I had become so trusting and stopped questioning those who should have had more integrity.

See, there's nothing wrong with questioning. You're not attacking the other person.You're trying to understand something or someone better. It's not that the person questioning is trying to tell you what to do. It's that they care and are trying to help you through a situation, into a better resolution. My resolution came in saving almost $800 on my car insurance. All because someone cared enough to question, then help lighten my financial load.

I apologized to the person who was only trying to help me, and explained why I acted the way I did...having programmed thinking over the years and rebelling against anyone who, I believed, was trying to tell me what to do when, in reality, they weren't. I felt really bad but thanked the person for helping me, through their wisdom and experience, to have a beneficial outcome.

In retrospect, I can plead shame and embarrasment for ever doubting this person, knowing, I fully trust them. At the end of the day, it was my own stubborn pride that prevented me from seeing their honest and well intended motives. They really had my best interest at heart.

I can't help but relate this experience to my relationship with God, too. God always acts with the best intentions, having love and protection as the motives when showing the best way to go in life. Sometimes, I have moments of rebellion against God's best in my life, thinking I know better when I don't. While that rebellion may never completely leave, I want to make every effort, now, to get rid of as much of that stubborn naivity as possible and be more trusting in those who know better.

Encouragement for the week:

Do you feel like people are always telling you what to do? Are you sure that's what they are doing? If they are, what do you think their motives are for doing so?

It could be that the person has your best interests at heart and really wants to save you from hurt, grief, or unnecessary financial loss.

Don't be too quick to oppose them or make your case because they may just hold some wisdom or life experience that you need. I know that was the case for me.

If you are a Christian, you know the value and wisdom of God's Word in what He tells us to do. It's not to control or hinder us, but to protect and give us the very best that life has to offer as a follower of Christ.

If you are not a Christian, look for Jesus and you will find someone whose questions and advice are sound, having your best interests at the center of His heart for your life.

I would like to hear from all of you. Let's talk. I look forward to your comments!