Toto, We're Not In Kansas Anymore!

"Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path." - Psalm 119:105

**Photography by Melissa Talbot**

There are some weird things on the internet and social media these days. Some true, some false, and some frighteningly disturbing. With the increase of our 'immediate' world mindset and explosion of social media platforms, it seems like anything goes when it comes to sharing pieces of the world, our lives, and even ourselves.

Twitter, SnapChat, Facebook, and Instagram have lent to a plethora of high speed information, whether in the form of words or pictures. From the profane to the cute, you can set your eyes on every type of article having every type of photo that contains a gripping title to catch your skimming eyes. The goal to shock and sicken grows each passing day.

There used to be a time when the news we received was accurate and backed by more than one source. Each detail was fact checked until the publisher was confident and pleased with the article about to be released. Nowadays, it seems like a hint of a whisper of an incident is enough to make its way to the front page and the more appalling, the better. Scary.

Why is that? What happened to solid reporting that, while true in its form, still maintained some discretion in exposure of gory pictures or violent behaviours? Why do we do the things that we do when it comes to media and the world wide web?

Malcolm X, an African-American minister and human rights activist once said, about the media, "The media's the most powerful entity on earth. They have the power to make the innocent guilty and to make the guilty innocent, and that's power. Because they control the minds of the masses." That speaks volumes and should cause great alarm within our consciences.

Anthony Carmona, currently the fifth president of Trinidad and Tobago, had this to say about social media, "Social media websites are no longer performing an envisaged function of creating a positive communication link among friends, family and professionals. It is a veritable battleground, where insults fly from the human quiver, damaging lives, destroying self-esteem and a person's sense of self-worth." I think Anthony has hit the proverbial nail on the head.

What once was to be a platform to keep in touch with loved ones near and far, social media has now fallen into the cracks of a place for stalking, bullying, and showcasing. Social media has become one of the most powerful forms of advertisement for anything within and beyond the imagination. So, what makes us do the things we do on social media?

Is there any guilt or remorse for the things said and done once it's 'out there'? Is it too late to apologize for a scathing comment/opinion once it's posted? Why post anything at all? What is the point?

Of course, the answers to the above questions will vary according to the individual. Some people get extremely passionate about an article or a viewpoint they have heard or read and feel a need to respond, sometimes, without much thought. Some people will give great thought before sharing their opinions.

I'm quite careful about what I post or share on any social media platform. You just never know what is true and what isn't. Don't get me wrong, there have been times when I have wanted to share something but then quickly recant, realizing that what I'm about to share isn't necessarily in line with who I am or want to be. It's something that, in the emotion of the moment, I have gotten caught up in.

In a way, the world has prevented many of us from being who we truly are because of a greater concern about who everyone else is. We start to do things we wouldn't normally do just to keep up with the masses when, in fact, we really don't want to be that way. It's peer pressure on a global scale that I don't think any person can be completely immune to.

There is a man in the Bible by the name of Paul. He had a difficult time doing the things he was supposed to do even while accomplishing a lot for Jesus. In fact, he was hand picked to do that work even in light of having faults and mess ups. However, over time, he became wiser in the things he did and said in order to be the person he really wanted to be.

Whether famous or not, I think we can all appreciate the benefits of becoming a better person. To think more and speak less. To live more and 'share' less. Technology has become a wonderful tool in which to reach beyond every boundary and learn incredible things. May we be responsible in how we use this tool in our everyday lives.

We may not be living in simpler times, back in Kansas like Dorothy did before being swept away by the tornado, but I think we can each contribute to a greater good of safety and responsibility in our own corner of the social media world, letting peace and love rule.

Encouragement for the week:

The world around us is available at the touch of a button, streaming a non-stop whirlwind of information. Sometimes the quality of the information can be overwhelming, even depressing and we can get caught up in things we never intended to. Perhaps even becoming someone we really don't want to be.

Instead of being led, just be yourself. Be who you want to be, not what the world tries to force feed you to be. Yes, there will still be times that mistakes will be made. There is no perfection on this planet.

If you are a Christian, you know that it's only God and Jesus who are perfect and as you live out a relationship with them, it is the direction of the Holy Spirit that will help you to be who you want to be.

If you are not a Christian, look for Jesus and you will find Him and all the good things He sees in you to become who you want to be. In this relationship with Him, you will be able to better navigate this mine field called life.

The Title Fight

"He stilled the storm to a whisper; the waves 

of the sea were hushed." - Psalm 107:29

**Photography by Melissa Talbot**

Fighters and boxers train for hours each day to build their best physique to face their opponents. They are pushed to the limits in every way and strive to become better than the last match. They dedicate their lives preparing for the next title fight where losing is not an option.

The commitment to their craft fuels the internal fire that keeps them training, improving, and fighting in a desire to be number one. Even in the face of losses and broken and bloodied bodies. Why put themselves through the abuse of training when defeat is a possibility? Why not give up while they're ahead?

Perhaps one of the greatest boxers of our time, Muhammed Ali, can speak to the, seemingly, ridiculous nature of this sport. Mr. Ali clawed his way to the top of an industry that has little to no mercy. With each victory, his determination increased, becoming a role model for many.

He coined several phrases, including, "Float like a butterfly and sting like a bee...Your hands can't hit what your eyes can't see." He had a charisma that was both captivating and admirable. He kept going when others, I'm sure, would have thrown in the towel. Why?

Maybe it's revealed in one of his lesser known quotes which said, "I hated every minute of training, but I said, 'Don't quit. Suffer now, and live the rest of your life as a champion.'" Incredible.

He knew the cost, suffering, and sacrifice boxing demanded, yet, he persevered, overcoming odds that gave him drive to carry on. In a way, I can relate to Mr. Ali's life in the past five days, when things were going wrong.

Day one began with no heat on one of the coldest days of the week. Day two brought sewer issues. Day three, troubles with another furnace. Day four, getting stuck in deep snow and resolving yet, a different furnace concern. Day five, a power outage.

To some, it may seem like I am cursed. To others, it's just a string of bad luck. I am neither a plumber nor heating expert and while each issue was and will be resolved, I was pushed to the limits in every conceivable way.

There was no previous experience to draw from for the bigger issues. I was completely ill-equipped...unqualified. Yet, strength and the determination to get through each challenge was what kept me going. Even though I felt like I was in a title fight getting royally cremed by my opponent.

While I did have a coach on the sidelines, talking me through the 'upper cuts' and 'right hooks' of each situation, it was still a match that I faced alone. One that brought alot of confusion and frustration. As a Christian, I began to doubt God's love for me. I felt abandoned. How could God allow all this stuff to happen in such a short period of time?

In reflecting, today, on what the past week had brought and all the internal buttons that had been pushed, I couldn't help but feel a bit like David taking on the Philistine giant, Goliath.

If you don't know the story from the Bible, David was a shepherd in charge of a flock. He spent years moving throughout the countryside minding the sheep, alone. While the responsibility may have seemed menial, the challenges were anything but.

He, single-handedly, killed both a lion and a bear in defense of his flock without ever having had formal training. However, he did have the strength and courage to carry out the tasks because of the intimate relationship he had forged with God during all those years of isolation.

What he didn't know was that the harrowing situations were preparing him for something greater - a title fight against a nine foot tall bully. David was completely ill-equipped for the fight, showing up with only a sling and five smooth stones as his weapon.

I'm sure he was scared and hesitant, but because of his close relationship with God, he was able to not only muster the brevity to face Goliath, but he defeated him with one stone to the forehead.

He triumphed because he trusted God, who had been with him all those years in the countryside and who was with him now, against the mighty Philistine. David knew that God would provide all that he needed to come, see, and conquer.

Through all the challenges of the past week, I had lost sight of who was getting me through each difficulty. I was allowing feelings to tell me that God had left me to sink instead of seeing it as it truly was...God with me in every single moment, helping me through.

So, while I may not understand why all these things happened, I know that God, in His Word (the Bible), promises never to leave me or turn His back on me. Maybe He'll let me know what it was all for. Maybe not. No matter what, I can honestly say that God is still good and there is a point and purpose to it all that is better than I know.

Encouragement for the week:

Ever feel like you're fighting a Goliath in your life? That you are unqualified for the challenges you're facing?

Let me assure you that it's because of the strong and determined person you are that the challenges come to test you. You may feel like you're showing up with only a sling and five smooth stones, but you are a champion about to win the title fight.

If you are a Christian, you understand the great blessing of having God on your side when facing life's challenges. Victory is on your side.

If you are not a Christian, look for God and you will find Him, the greatest trainer and coach you could ever have in your corner.

The Sweet Spot

What brings you joy, satisfaction, or a sense of purpose? 

Give yourself a moment to dig deep to find the answer. Is it making someone laugh? Is it clearing your neighbor's sidewalk? Is it smiling and saying, "Hi" to a complete stranger? Maybe, it's buying coffee for the person in line behind you.  

Whatever it is, you do it because it means going beyond yourself to make a difference and bring meaning to someone else while feeling joy. That's what writing has been for me. An opportunity to step outside of personal discouragement and agendas in hopes of encouraging someone, somewhere, in their everyday life. 

That, somehow, a person who reads a post won't feel so alone, ashamed, or forgotten. That they will breathe a sigh of relief, reassurance, or gratitude. That this God given desire to love on people with words will be successfully received.

Jesus was someone who went out of His way to help others. He would even go as far as performing the miraculous for those in deep pain and need. All in an effort to show His love and make the most of the purpose He took seriously. It was never about Himself, only the sweet spot He had found.

Even while experiencing His own personal anguish, there was no distance too far that He wouldn't walk to make someone's day. It was more important to meet the needs of others than His own. I want to be like that.

So, if you enjoy doing something specific for other people, let that be the reason you get out of bed each morning. If showing crazy goodness to someone is the only way to escape your own disappointment, depression, or hopelessness, this world needs your crazy goodness. Sometimes in stepping outside of ourselves, the greatest joy and satisfaction can be found.

Seek out that joy, satisfaction, and/or sense of purpose. Do it quietly or do it loudly. Do it with flare or with elegance. Do it in color or black and white. Find your sweet spot and stay there.

Encouragement for the week:

Have you found joy, satisfaction, or purpose in your life?

Don't panic if you haven't yet. It took me the better part of 43 years to find mine and this was only after having believed that I would never find them.

I am thankful that it came at the time it did. When unemployment and lack of direction was at the forefront while resigned to the fact that a joy filled purpose may never come...but it did.

In the most unexpected way, in the most unusual form, with a lot of self-doubt. Yours is coming too, in a way you never expected so keep an eye out for it because you just never know.

If you are Christian, you have one of the greatest purposes ever assigned and so many more to come.

If you are not a Christian, look for Jesus and you will find Him and learn of the greatest way to all of your purposes.

Anonymous Autonomy

"Taste and see that the LORD is good..." 

- Psalm 34:8

**Photography by Melissa Talbot**

If you were told today that you had a month to live, how would you, the tragectory, and purpose of your life change? Would they change? People everywhere, everyday are given a terminal time line and I often wonder what immediately follows this devastating report.

What goes through their mind, heart, soul, and spirit as the moments pass and the countdown begins? Don't get me wrong, I am in no way making light of a life altering situation. The topic is raised only because of my own health concerns and close calls through the years.

Of getting tests performed and then being left to await the results. The days, even weeks, pass before knowing what the tests revealed. Every distraction is utilized and fear, visited.

The person waiting for a reassuring phone call is, instead, met with a brief statement that the doctor wants to see them. I have been there and while my result was delivered and followed by an external sigh of relief, others have not had the same fortune.

So what would you do if the report came back bad? Would you withdraw from society and live out your remaining days in isolation? Or would you swallow hard, ignore the diagnosis and carve out a 'no regret' blowout?

Would you be kinder, more compassionate, and radical in generosity? Would you do all the things you always wanted to do, even if it scared you? Would people take the place of things?

Personally, I would start by getting as little sleep as possible and riding the fastest zip line in the world, screaming the entire time. The adrenaline rush and yelling would, hopefully, release all of the anger and bitterness I know would be coursing through me.

Secondly, priorities and perspectives would change for the better. Life would be looked at differently. I would love as though I had never experienced hurt. I would sing and dance like a fool whenever I felt like it. I would have a celebration of life with everyone I know, share the love of Jesus with as many people as possible, and eat all kinds of cakes along the way.

Jesus, the Son of God, knew exactly when He was going to die. He told people this truth and was met with disbelief and rebuke. That knowledge, however, never halted Him from loving, healing, or teaching radically. He never sought independence or freedom from others and, to this day, is considered by many as the greatest man who ever lived.

Encouragement for the week:

We all have a limited amount of time on Earth. How we live out each day can bring wonderful meaning to ourselves and others.

How would you live out your days if you knew how many remained? What kind of person would you want to be remembered as? What would you do differently today and as the days counted down?

While this might seem morbid to do, I encourage you to see it, instead, as an exercise in self-reflection on a time line and think about the things that would change, how you would change.

If you are a Christian, you know that Christ died so that you would live life in abundance and fullness. Live each day as though it were your last.

If you are not a Christian, you can look for and find Jesus along with the freedom to live out loud and in abundance.

I Love You, Man!

Puppy love, first love, and love at first sight are just some of the ways we describe one of the most life changing and heart wrenching emotions. However, as much as it is a powerful emotion, it also rivals as a significant choice.

In my greatest desire to be married, I often struggle with the reasons behind divorce especially when it stems from one of the pivotal things that brought a couple together in the first place. Love. Suddenly, love has become a thing instead of a precious commodity.

It becomes something to fall out of or go cold. Don't get me wrong, I used to understand why that would happen, especially when I was married, but I also used to believe that love equalled sex. The more sex that was had, the more loved I felt. The current realization that it was backward thinking has never been more true than it is now.

Especially when we live in an age where anything goes, sexually, and the consequences of having multiple partners while using little to no protection is the norm. That self gratification through pornography, prostitution, and human trafficking is much more realistic and acceptable than the raw vulnerability of expressing genuine love.

Have we taken the priceless treasure of love and ruined its reputation forever?

Love has also become a way to express an extreme like for food, books, or beverages. I have certainly been guilty of using that term when describing food. As a self-professed foodie, it's hard not be taken away by the sights, smells, and flavors of a new or favorite dish.

However, after many years of doing this, using the love word for inanimate objects that would later be consumed, felt shallow. When I became a Christian, a larger shift happened within that knocked me for a loop in the understanding of love.

The unconditional love being displayed to me then was not only beyond comprehension but in complete opposition to the definition once lived by. Not only did the emotion become significant and genuine but the word itself was a rare gem in need of protection.

That was the greatest change that happened. It has now opened an entirely different life journey book that could have sat on the shelf forever. Never opened, never explored, never appreciated.

The Bible speaks about love in a way that blows every romance novel out of the water. It verbalizes the wonder, depth, and intricacies of love expressed by a God that made the ultimate decision and sacrifice to save us in exchange for His only son's life. If that's not the epitome of love, then I am completely lost as to what is.

Giving one's life because of love...indescribable. Can you honestly say you would give your life for a complete stranger out of love? I would be hard pressed to do so. Asking if you would die for your child would probably elicit a different response.

Yes, while love is an immense emotion, the decision to exercise that love is far greater. It also takes determination and discipline to be consistent with that choice. It is not only a great desire to choose to love my future spouse but also those around me, right now.

Encouragement for the week:

Sometimes it's hard to love a stranger who rubs us the wrong way, a spouse who is distant, or a difficult family member.

In my decision to live this year with intent, I encourage you to make a decision to love those who challenge you in the love department. Let it be something that becomes greater in you which will, ultimately, prevent anything or anyone from stealing your joy in life.

Set yourself free by loving when it seems like no one else is. It's liberating and character building.

If you are a Christian, you know that God loves you and desires a relationship with you so that His love for us can be the same love we have for others.

If you are not a Christian and wonder where real love can be found, you can find it in God and in Jesus. Look for Him and you will find Him.

You're Quite The Character!

"The righteous will flourish like a palm tree, 

they will grow like a cedar of Lebanon..." - Psalm 92:12

**Photography by Melissa Talbot**

Malicious control, sexual manipulation, emotional blackmail, alcohol and sexual addictions. Just some of the things I was known for. Intolerance was always on the short list and indignant behaviours, a ritual. Each day was an experiment in how much darker things could become in character, attitude, and disposition. 

That was all until the year 2007, when I planned to be wiped off the map but, instead, was drowned in unconditional love and acceptance. Before then, there was no real substance. No vulnerability. No compassion. No acceptance. There was no possession of integrity or realness. Just a blending in with the world and its 'norms'. 

The world we live in today has smudged over honesty. Pressures to fit in and be a certain way have become expected. Upstanding character and integrity are becoming harder to find. Promises are broken, commitments are shrugged off, and the best intentions no deeper than a child's swimming pool.

We can see and hear the negative all around us at all times through social media, newscasts and gossip columns. The more shocking the story, the less we seem to be surprised by what is revealed. Are we in an age of doing away with upright conduct in exchange for keeping up with the masses? Is it more important to be ruthless and underhanded than to keep our word?

Character and integrity used to be an integral part of life, once upon a time. If your neighbour said they would do something, they did it. You didn't have to lock your doors at night and the kids could stay out past sunset without a worry to the parents. They really were simpler times.

Nowadays, there is paranoia, suspicion, correctness, and deceit 'a-plenty. When there are so many out there who never seem to keep their word, it can be hard to implement a strength of character in ourselves. It takes nerves of steel to go against the grain to be a person who will always do what they say, no matter what the cost.

After changing from a filthy mouthed, mean spirited, and condemning woman, this blogger set out to experience something never thought of. To gain tools that would bring out a person who followed through and kept their word. It wasn't easy and being that real and accountable was, at times, uncomfortable but so was staying the shallow, uncaring former self.

Having integrity and upright character became more important than going along with what everyone else was doing. There was less pressure, stress, and discouragement. Promises were kept and a once marred conscience, clean.

Jesus never broke a promise. To this day, He still hasn't. He was a man of His word and it, often, brought ridicule and rejection. He was someone who didn't cater to the masses or join along with the majority just to be cool or accepted. He carved a course that changed the times He was in and of generations to come. In the face of every despicable and underhanded act that surrounded Him, He always stood His ground.

It takes courage to be different in ways that can be refreshing to both ourselves and others. You might be laughed at or rejected but at the end of the day, you are someone who will be able to sleep at night. Soundly.

Encouragement for the week:

Do you feel a lack of courage to have integrity because of your surroundings? Do your friends or family belittle you when you display an upright character?

Going against a society that says, increasingly, it's okay to lie, cheat, and steal to get what you want, can be difficult and hurtful. Sometimes it can feel like you're a spawning salmon swimming uphill, upstream, and against the mightiest currents. 

You may not realize it but someone is watching. When you keep your word and display strong, convicting character, someone is taking notice. You are making a difference in someone's life. Right now. It could be your spouse, your kids, or a complete stranger.

Don't stop being a person of your word. Keep your promises, no matter what. Follow through in the things you've spoken out loud. The more you desire to become an upright person, the easier it will get to be that person.

If you are a Christian, you have the greatest example and source of strength to be a person of integrity and character...Jesus. Have courage to keep doing what's right.

If you are not a Christian and you feel like it's impossible to become a person of integrity and character, well, you're wrong. Look for Jesus and you will find Him along with all the wonderful attributes that come in knowing Him.

Shame On You!

"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin...So do not worry...your heavenly Father knows that you need them..." - Matthew 6: 28, 31-32

**Photography by Melissa Talbot**

These three small, simple words have the capability of packing a punch against our hearts, minds, and self-esteem. Words that can quickly alter our entire well being and cause us to distort our self-image.

Shame has quickly become a 'pseudo trend ' in our world. Unlike fashion trends, this trend doesn't appear to be vanishing after a certain amount of time has passed. Instead, it's growing like a cancer within our society.

Shaming has, oddly, become a way of life in that one person feels the need to shame another person for something they have done or how they are. There doesn't seem to be a limit on what people consider to be shameful nowadays which causes great concern in this blogger's heart.

Feeling ashamed can affect us in ways that are, for the most part, false and unwarranted. For example, feeling ashamed for breastfeeding in public. It's amazing how individuals feel the need to chastise mothers for doing the very thing the shamer was once completely dependent on for life.

Or shaming someone who has a mental illness and struggles, daily, to overcome the very things haunting them. Telling them to 'suck it up', 'get over it' or to 'move on'. Causing crippling fear and reluctance to ever talk about the very thing that is burying them.

Then there is the shame projected at new mothers suffering with post-partum depression. Mothers who have been made to feel inadequate because of their inability to cope as a new mother at no fault of their own. Even the ability to go on living.

Yet, due to outdated stigmas and shame both inward and from others, many of the very serious struggles of life have been placed on a billboard of things that are no longer tolerable. Is that because of ignorance or a refusal to be informed and educated about real battles being fought by real people?

Thankfully, someone along the way has seen this pattern or 'trend' as unacceptable and has raised the standard of respecting human life. After having battled post-partum and knowing the very real pain of it, this blogger and mother has immense gratitude for the efforts being made to end the stigma that was behind PPD for so long.

Grateful for initiatives toward speaking out about mental illness and depression or providing options to those considering abortion. While helping me to remain compassionate and supportive toward the hurt in other people's lives, whether knowing their circumstances fully or not.

There is no shame in being imperfect or not having it all together like the world would have us, otherwise, believe. Imperfections are what makes things beautiful. Like a chip off a piece of pottery or a slightly missed brush stroke on fine china. The imperfections in things and in us allow for vulnerability. To be real, without shame, thus helping others to know they are not alone.

One of the things I love about Jesus is that He never made anyone feel ashamed. He never went out of His way to condemn someone who had done wrong. He simply loved them, even a woman who had committed adultery. He had mercy on her and, by loving her, made her realize the wrong path she had taken, causing her to have a renewed confidence to live right.

In the book of Romans in the Bible it says, "Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus..." Jesus never shames us or puts our faults and failures on display like the world does. He doesn't rub our noses in our mistakes or shake His finger at us.

The hope that the world will turn things around grows daily. There are glimpses of hope through articles informing people on the very real burdens of PPD, mental illness, abortion, and many other things that have plagued people with shame.

At the end of the day, we are human which means we are all prone to make mistakes and mess up. The time for shaming needs to be over. The time for intolerance toward imperfection also needs to be over.

Encouragement for the week:

Have you been shamed by someone? How did it affect the way you feel about yourself? Did you beat yourself up about it and enter into self-condemnation?

I used to condemn myself all the time for the things I did until I came to know a relationship with Jesus. While I am not perfect in this relationship with Jesus, He helps me to see and know that my faults are not held against me and that He will never shame me for them.

It's unfortunate that the ways of this world shame us every chance it gets but there is a powerful truth that counters that...Jesus won't.

If you are a Christian, you can have confidence in an ever shaming world because you know that Jesus doesn't condemn you for the things you have or haven't done. That is His promise you can take to the bank.

If you are not a Christian, look for Jesus and you will find Him. You will come into a relationship with someone who will never shame or condemn you.