Selah

Pronounced a couple different ways (seelah, saylah), the word Selah, as indicated by Wikipedia, means several things. From "rock" or "like a rock" to "stop and listen" and "pause, think of that". It may also indicate a break in a song whose purpose is similar to that of Amen (Hebrew: "so be it"). The word 'Selah' also occurs 74 times in the Bible. The Bible is believed by many Christians to be the Word of God.

For me, Selah has become a meaningful practice in my life as I've applied the meaning of to stop, pause, and reflect much more than the other meanings given by Wikipedia. Often I will find a quiet place to reflect deeply about things and events in my life that have had an impact on who I am as a person and a woman. Some of the things I stop to think about and reflect on have been both positive and negative in nature. The negative reflective points have been a source of lessons learned along with wisdom in how to better navigate my way through negative or difficult times that I know will come.

Some of the things I've reflected on have been: my role as a sister, mother, and daughter; my conduct and character as a Christian; difficult times I've been through and challenges I've had to overcome (ie. the loss of my grandfather, the lack of a relationship with my son, opposition to my faith, a longing to know my purpose, and many more).

It's at times of reflection that I have gleaned insight, refreshment and peace. I know that even though I am a Christian and have chosen to follow Jesus, I am not perfect and need a lot of guidance and grace. I make mistakes all the time and that's why I need help. For me, my personal relationship with Jesus has been my greatest source of help. If it wasn't for finding Jesus, I know I wouldn't be here.

At the end of the day, I know it's by reflecting that I can come into an appreciation of where I've been and where I am going. That the mistakes I made in the past have no hold on me now and do not determine or define my future. I'm definitely not the same person today as I was years ago and that is a good thing. I don't believe we're meant to be complacent in thought or action but to go through the tough stuff, brush ourselves off and keep moving forward.

What do you reflect on? What do you discover about yourself in times of reflection? I'd really like to hear from you and have a conversation about this topic! I also welcome constructive feedback about my blog and ways I can improve it. 

Foreward. Forward.

It's hard to belive that I haven't written a blog for over 2 years! It's not for lack of content or a boring faith walk.  In all honesty,  the reasons are many from laziness to loneliness, difficulty to discouragement.

Things that stopped me from sharing my ongoing journey that shouldn't have along with excuses and a little bit of fear to share some deeply personal things. However, I have decided to face fear, toe to toe, and refuse to let it hold me back from what I believe God is directing me to do.

That direction being to share my faith journey, the good days along with the difficult. To be real and vulnerable in what I share which can be scary but I'd rather face and push through the scary than have it stop me.

So this debut, well re-debut, blog is a foreward for more that's to come along with a big and scary step forward into a continuing journey that, I hope, will encourage,  uplift and inspire you.

I hope you'll walk with me. I welcome the company and conversation with you along the way.

The Call

SO, did you figure out the answer to my Cuba trivia question: Does Cuba have elephants? The answer is NO! Cuba does not have elephants! Strange but true! This blog’s Cuba trivia question is: What is Cuba’s national sport? Take your guess and write your answer in the comment section if you like! I’ll reveal the answer in my next blog!

As followers of Christ and being in relationship with Him, God often ‘calls’ us to do certain things, go certain places, and say certain words to people. When God has called me to any of these I’ve listed, some I’ve found incredibly easy to do and others not so much. Though God never changes, the things He calls us to often do, sometimes in great degree.

At times I question if what God has called me to is legitimate, but with time I know that it is and, indeed, it comes from God and it’s not something I’ve made up. But how do I know FOR SURE, that it’s God calling me?

In my own experiences, the call has come in different forms. At times it’s a pressing on my heart and spirit that is undeniable and hard to ignore. Other times it’s the internal, yet, audible voice of God that speaks to my heart and spirit in that still, small voice. I can know that it’s God’s voice and not my own (which is difficult to distinguish at times) when I have an energy within me and a great peace that is unexplainable. Of course, there is also the Word of God that I can always be sure will point me in the right direction.

Above all else, for me, it’s been dedication to praying about something specific that the Lord has called me to and asking Him to confirm that it’s what He wants me to do. He confirms in various ways; through situations, godly conversations, His Word, or His voice along with His peace. A peace in my heart and in my spirit tells me that it’s from God (John 14:27). This is the same peace I received when I first got God’s call on my life for Cuba over two years ago.

Now, as I look forward to what this vision trip will mean, the peace remains and it grows stronger as I progress in the details and planning of this next adventure with God! It is this same peace that might be filling you as you are reading this and wondering if being a part of my vision team to Cuba is something God wants you to be a part of!

If it is, the experience will be transforming for you and God will do great things in and through you during the trip! J So, now here is where you might come in! If you feel that God is placing it on your heart, calling you, to be a part of my work team to Cuba this summer, please email me and I would love to chat with you further!!

I will continue to pray and wait on God to bring those He desires to see on this trip. In the meantime, would you please join me in prayer for the following:

- Please pray that the preparation that God has already been doing in hearts would bring them forward in   becoming a part of this work team to Cuba.

- Please pray that God would continue to go before me and prepare the way to Cuba for me and my team to come. That God would oversee the details and that I would remain submitted to His timing and way in doing things, that I would NOT push my own timing and agenda.

- Please pray that God would grant me continued wisdom and discernment as I prepare to lead this team. That God would fill me with the fruit of the Spirit for the many wonderful personalities that will be in this team.

- Please pray that God would prepare the hearts of those who will come alongside this team and project to give financially.

Many thanks!

Surprise!!

I’m trying something new….Cuba Trivia!! Okay, so, does Cuba have elephants??? The answer will come in my next blog but feel free to make guesses!

Sometimes when God opens a door it can be to something pretty cool. Like a new job that’s greatly needed, a new friendship, or lunch with a friend you haven’t seen for a while! Other times, God opens a door to something ABSOLUTELY MIND BLOWING!! Like the door that God recently opened for me!

In early January, after having sent out three fleeces (feelers) to three different Cuba-oriented organizations that I’ve been prayerfully supporting over the years, one returned. It returned in a pretty big way and was from WorldServe Ministries (www.worldserve.ca)!  Check out their website to see what they’re about and their ministry focus!

What began with several email ‘conversations’ with WSM, turned into a phone call (Jan. 14, 2014) that included an in-depth discussion about God’s present call on my life for Cuba. I chatted with the Director of Teams and Humanitarian Aid with WSM and he mentioned there would be some upcoming teams training in Calgary that I could sit in on to get a feel of WSM’s vision and ministry and how it all ties into my call. Without hesitation I said, "Yes!"

Our conversation concluded with some homework, that is, my homework that came in the form of reading two books prior to the training that was, at that time, just two and half weeks away: When Helping Hurts by Steve Corbett & Brian Fikkert and Ministering Cross-Culturally by Sherwood G. Lingenfelter. If you feel called to be a missionary, in whatever form that might take (ie. Mission trips, pastoring a church, etc.), I would highly recommend these books.

After reading both books, my heart was affirmed with what I had come to already believe about the TRUE meaning of missions. That it’s not about swooping in and taking over. Sure, there are a lot of things that need to be done in needy places but, like the Bible, it really begins with relationship. It’s about empowering those who are poverty stricken, not just materially, but personally and spiritually. A poverty that makes people feel powerless, humiliated, shamed, depressed, and worthless due to their state of material poverty.

Without a doubt, I know that it‘s not about a/some ‘Mission’ Trip(s) for me, it’s about a/some ‘Vision’ Trip(s), my vision which had been God’s vision for Cuba. A/some trip(s) that will get work done, yes, but more importantly is the work that will get done in the heart and soul of a person to change them in powerful ways and for eternity. Change that will bring worth and value to raise people up out of their spiritual poverty so that they can bring themselves out of material poverty!

Change to empower and encourage the indigenous (local) people, to help restore the foundational relationships (relationship with God, with self, with others, and with the rest of creation) so that they become the very people God designed them to be!

February 1, 2014: This is the day I sat in on a teams training session for 2 hours. I can tell you that it was an incredible time of blessing and affirmation. Not only was I entering the right door that God had opened for me but it was also with the right organization for Cuba.

As details unfold, I’ll keep you up to date on the what’s, when’s, and how’s of my progressing call to Cuba!

In the meantime, would you please join me in prayer for the following:

 - Please pray that God would grant me wisdom, guidance, and discernment about the steps to take and how soon to take them in this partnership with WSM. I don’t want to get ahead of God!

- Please pray that God would begin to prepare the hearts of those who will be a part of my calling to Cuba.

           - Please pray that God would continue to prepare my heart and the way before me for Cuba.

      

      Thank you!!

God's Timing

I don't think I've ever been a fan of God's timing. I know I'm not alone in saying that. As believers who have committed our lives to following God, as much as we desire to do so we often find ourselves wanting things to happen now. I've lost count of how many times I've tried to force, cajole, beg, or bargain with God to go along with my timing. It's never happened. That's a good thing. I think.

Hard to believe it's been over two years since I returned from Costa Rica. Even harder to believe is that what I thought to be God's next and immediate assignment for me has taken this long to come to life again. It was the moment I stepped foot onto Canadian soil again, back in late 2011, that the loudest and clearest word to come from God was, "CUBA." 

I was so excited that in preparing the summary presentation of my Costa Rica trip for my home church and supporters, I included my confident next step on my presentation's last slide. It contained several pictures and the word 'Cuba'. That's how sure I was. 

After giving that presentation, I became poised and ready to jump into action again in spite of not knowing what God's next assignment looked like. Little did I know that there was more training, waiting, and patience involved. Waiting and patience are definitely two words that I'm not good at or fond of. 

Nonetheless, in being prepared to go to Costa Rica, it was inevitable that some preparation would have to be done in me and in my life in order to take the next steps God now has in mind for me. As I sit here typing I can see a snapshot of what God did in my life and in me to prepare me for what's coming in this new year.

They say that hindsight is 20/20. I think it's invaluable. That as I continue to seek a deeper and more intimate relationship with the Creator of the universe, there have been some amazing lessons these past two years that I've come away with. Lessons that have opened my eyes even more to the revelation of God Himself. Here is a list of some marked events and lessons/blessings that emerged from each event.

Event (Jan. 2012): One month after returning from Costa Rica, I'm hired full time to work a well paying job in a small oil and gas company. God then called me out of that position in July 2012.

Lesson/Blessing: Through obeying God's call for me to leave my position, He blessed me by calling me into full time prayer ministry with Him for 5 months.

Event (Feb. 2013): Led to a non-profit organization (HART) to work full time in reception/administration.

Lesson/Blessing: In accepting the position, God blessed me with a promotion prior to the end of my probationary period.

Event (Apr. 2013): Evangelism training for the Billy Graham My Hope Canada project at my home church.

Lesson/Blessing: God preparing my heart and spirit as well as blessing me with a short reunion with former colleagues and friends from the BGEAC.

Event (June 2013): Involved in a car accident, not of my fault, and sustained a minor whiplash and concussion.

Lesson/Blessing: God led me to the clinic that helped me with the pain of my recovery and blessed me with a return to pre-accident status (Dec. 2013) and freedom from some financial burden. He also helped me to make improvements in my life by reducing stress, adjusting my nutrition, and making changes to my existing exercise program. Doing all of these things brought me more wisdom, discernment, and understanding about my body and what it needs to stay well. This has all made me healthier and stronger!

This snapshot brings me to today, January 4, 2014 and the resurrection, as it were, of my blog. A time of sharing with all of you what the next step, Cuba, might look like. As some of you might know, Cuba is still very much a communist based country. Like many places under similar rule, communism tends to be oppressive, manipulative, and controlling with very few 'freedoms' to the people under that rule. 

Cuba is often thought of as a tourist destination with its tropical weather, white sandy beaches, and crystal clear blue water.There is, however, a dark side of immorality, spiritism/cults, and persecution against Christians.

Cuba has a thirst and hunger for the Gospel. A need to know Jesus Christ, not just to know OF Him. A country in need of people who are willing to go and speak the truth of the Gospel and make Jesus known to Cubans. I believe that I am to be one of those persons. I believe that my training in Costa Rica and the events of the past two years have been in preparation for God's reignited call to Cuba as of recent.

Of course seeing Cuba is a communist country, only those who are Cuban citizens can reside there permanently. Foreigners or non-citizens are restricted in their length of stay depending on where you're from. I believe as a Canadian, one could stay there as a tourist for up to 90 days at a time. 

At this point, I don't know what my time looks like in Cuba. I don't know the 'when's' or 'how's' of my start there and for how long God desires me to be connected to Cuba. I only know that most of it involves evangelism. Only God knows the timing and the logistical details. In the meantime, I have begun preliminary inquiries with a couple different people within organizations and am continuing to pray and wait on God for the details to be made known. I know that they will be in His timing.

There will be regular updates to you, my followers, supporters, and fellow prayer warriors. I am  hoping to do updates more often so as to keep them shorter in length. I'll share more as I know more. Until then, please join with me in prayer for the following:

- Please pray that God would continue to feed the fire that burns in my spirit to do His will until such time it becomes God's time for me to go to Cuba.

- Please pray that God would widely and clearly open the right door of opportunity in Cuba for me to enter into.

- Please pray that when the time comes for me to 'GO', that God would provide everything that I will need at that time. Whether it is finances, prayer, or otherwise, may God grant me a trusting heart.

Thank you everyone! 

It's A Wild Ride

Ever been on a roller coaster? It's exhilarating, scary, and at times challenging (only because you're trying your best not to throw up). Well, following God has presented similarities to that of a roller coaster...at least it has for me.

Since I answered God's call of my name five and a half short years ago, this journey I have been on with Him has been nothing short of a wild roller coaster ride (minus the possibility of throwing up). LOL

I've experienced exhilaration, excitement, fear, doubt, difficulty, peace, and freedom. Yes, freedom. A freedom that I have NEVER experienced ever before in my life and the closer I walk with God, the tighter He holds me and the more free I feel.

I recently experienced a sharp turn on my roller coaster ride with the Lord early last month, July 4 to be exact. It all began with a dream, a prophetic dream from God. It was very vivid and very clear and when I woke up from that dream I just KNEW within my being that it was from God. In fact, as soon as I woke up the outstanding indicator telling me it was from God was the unsurpassing peace I had.

But as humans we kinda look for more, even humans who follow God closely. So, like Gideon, I prayed for the Lord to confirm this message I received from Him in the dream which by the way was a very detailed dream of me resigning from the administrative position I held with a small oil and gas company. The very same position God had brought me eight months earlier.

Having taken the unsurpassing peace I received upon waking from the dream as my first confirmation from the Lord, I prayed for a second confirmation from Him through His Word, His living and infallible Word. It wasn't long after I prayed that prayer that the word 'resignation' appeared in the message of a devotional based on a piece of Scripture from the Word of God.

Feeling more human than normal, I'm guessing, I came to the Lord again, much like Gideon...again, and I prayed for the Lord to confirm it one last time. I prayed that God would confirm His call to me through the Holy Spirit that resided within me. That He would speak loudly, clearly, and deeply to my spirit through the power of the Holy Spirit, telling me that it was, indeed, His will that I resign. That His words would resonate throughout my entire being so much so that it would be impossible to ignore what He was telling me. I was pressing God more than usual because I really didn't want to resign. I REALLY liked my job! I had a fantastic boss and the greatest work environment I could ever hope for!!

Well, it wasn't ten minutes after I had prayed that prayer that my ENTIRE being became filled with one word, 'RESIGN'. Yep, capital letters and all started to resonate in my heart, mind, and spirit. There was no ignoring it or misunderstanding what God was telling me. Yikes! So I swallowed hard and said, "Okay, Lord, that is what I will do." So I continued to pray and then typed my letter of resignation and tendered it to my boss on July 9.

The only thing is that while God was calling me to do this, He wasn't telling me what was coming next and I had never experienced that before in my walk with Him. So, perhaps, you can see why I hesitated and prayed for God to confirm this so many times.

But I did it and my departure, while met with sadness, was also met with excitement for what lay ahead, which I had no idea what that was. My last day was August 3 and this then segued into a week's vacation at one of my favorite B&B spots in Alberta.

Three weeks prior to my last day, however, I was sent to Nova Scotia on business for one week and while there, God blessed me in ways I never anticipated. One such blessing came on the full weekend I had in the province. I decided to travel to the coast and find a little hideaway that would allow me respite along with some time peering out at the Atlantic Ocean. I found such a place on Big Island in Merigomish, Nova Scotia. As I got settled in this B&B I had found, I sat on my bed and peered out of one of the windows in my room. Directly in my line of sight was an apple tree and in moments I saw a picture of myself sitting under that apple tree with Jesus. Not only that but with the picture came one word, 'FREE'. Yes, that word was in capital letters as well. LOL

That brought to my mind the great truths of God's Word that I was free in Christ and in the salvation that I had accepted when I let Him into my heart. Free to be the woman God had saved to be transformed into who He always intended me to be. However, since God spoke that word to me weeks ago, it's been spoken to me every single day since then and I couldn't ignore the fact that I felt as though there was something more to that word. It was during my final week of work that God began to reveal to me the deeper meaning behind the word He gave me in Nova Scotia.

That not only did I have that eternal freedom in Christ but that God was now giving me the freedom to choose...choose what was to come next in my life. The freedom to come before Him and pray for the very longings and desires so deeply held in my heart that I dreamed so many times would come next. The deepest held? Marriage. Others? Relationships...that with my son, my family, my friends. This revelation was a mind blower, I must admit. I had never felt more apprehensive, humbled, and blessed to have received what God was now telling me. This really encompassed everything within the single, solitary word that God had spoken to me, whispered to my heart in His still, small voice in that B&B in that sleepy town of Merigomish, Nova Scotia.

Not only was God pouring out this freedom to choose to me but He was also telling me to do so boldly, fearlessly, and specifically. How can this be?? Can I be trusted with all of this? Would God have spoken all of this to me if He didn't trust me? Was it all a direct result of me trusting in Him all these years? Even with all the questions came the peace, that unsurpassing peace again, like with the dream that started all of this. Bringing to end one chapter of my life and beginning another filled with uncertainty but surely a great freedom that God ordained for me.

After completing my final day of work, I packed up and headed to my B&B vacation in the country where I knew I would find refreshment, blessing, and a closeness with God I couldn't quite get in the city. Each day was a fountain of God's blessings on me including words, songs, Scripture verses, and extraordinary experiences with nature. Prayers were answered daily as God spoke words to me that I had come to know well from Him. Those words being 'FREE', 'WAIT', and 'BLESS'. It was just a wonderful time to be and to enjoy all that God had for me there.

It was much like a walk down memory lane and God was my tour guide. Speaking to me of all the things that He had done in my life and in me in the past year. My time in Costa Rica and the extraordinary life changes that occured during my five months there. The purposes He had revealed to me and all the memories of His daily faithfulness. And I can't leave out the many affirmations, confirmations, and reassurances that He had for me each day. What an incredible week and a symphony I didn't want to stop hearing or experiencing. I can't begin to explain how difficult it was to leave that and make my way back here to city life, but I did it as reluctantly as possible. LOL

After being back a couple days, it's been an adjustment but God has been faithful and has already brought me work! After spending time with a sister in Christ in fellowship and prayer yesterday morning, God began to speak to me the moment I got in my car to leave. The word He initially spoke to me and the message to follow was unmistakable...'Prayer'. God then said to me, "I want you to work for me, to be in prayer for me. I want you to fulfill one of my purposes for you and be the prayer warrior I always intended you to be."

It was hard to miss the excitement that immediately bubbled within my heart and spirit when I heard that. Then the excitement quickly gave way to humility and an awe I had never encountered before. God is calling me to work for Him??! The Creator of the universe is recruiting ME!!!?? Wha??? How could I possibly say no!!??

It's not your typical day job..at least it's not a job which the world recognizes as being one of great value or that it holds in high esteem because you don't get paid to do it. But, for me, the rewards far outweigh the fact that I won't get paid to do what God has called and chosen me to do during this time in my life. In fact, it's directly in line with the freedom God has given me for what comes next in my life.

So, for a time, I will work for the greatest boss in the universe, 24/7 if He wants me to, and sink into the joy and desire of praying that God has set so deeply in my heart not only for myself and for those around me who I know well but for those who I don't know at all but who God loves with a never ending love.

While I love to pray for others, and welcome your prayer requests should you have any, I was wondering if you could pray for me? That I would be able to further wait patiently for God to bring me the desires of my heart, namely marriage, while I partake in one of the greatest jobs I can think of right now....praying and interceding on the behalf of others.

Thank you for your continued interest and support of this ever changing and always crazy journey I'm on with God. I wouldn't have it any other way. :D

God bless you all!!!!

Lines Of Time

Hard to believe it’s been 6 months since I came back from Costa Rica! And while I recognize it’s been that long I am also aware that it’s been several months since my last blog entry! So, apologies to all of you who, faithfully, check and follow my blog. I should really keep up with things better. I guess part of my procrastination comes from not that much happening in my life….well, nothing earth shattering anyway. :D Therefore, in an effort to get you caught up on what’s been happening in my life and to avoid being overly verbose (wordy) while doing it, I thought I would provide a timeline of dates and events that have marked the past 6 months. I’ll keep it as short and sweet as possible. :D November 20, 2011 – I return to my home country of Canada and to my home in Calgary, Alberta. This was a prompting from God to return a full month earlier than I was originally ticketed to return. November 22, 2011 – God speaks loudly and clearly of His next mission and country for me…CUBA!! December 2011 – Early January 2012 – Time spent with family in Saskatchewan while resting and recovering from CR as well as processing and sharing all the incredible and life changing things God did in Costa Rica! This included God revealing His purposes for me: Prayer Warrior, Spiritual Mother/Mentor, and Leader. This time of rest and respite also allowed me to seek God’s heart for Cuba and to purchase a bilingual Bible. January 16, 2012 – Began a full time job in downtown Calgary working for a small oil and gas exploration company. January 29, 2012 – Gave a presentation to my home church of my time in Costa Rica and with YWAM. February 2012 – God opened a door for me to pursue an opportunity to go to Cuba through YWAM involving me joining a team from the Cartagena, Colombia base for their outreach phase. March 2012 – It’s been over a month since the Cuba opportunity came without further correspondence. Mid-March 2012 – Found a place to live!!! A 20 minute walk to work, located just outside of downtown! Woo hoo!! Late March 2012 – The door I thought God was opening, widely, for me to go to Cuba closed but God, in His faithfulness, opened a subsequent door to partner with my home church and come alongside to encourage and be a prayer warrior for several of the female youth leaders of the church!! April 2012 – In spite of not fully understanding the ‘why’s’ behind Cuba not working out, I walk forward in preparing to move into my own place on May 1 and just keep trusting in God’s timing and way in my life. April 23, 2012 – God places a strong desire on my heart to start a prayer journal. With each person or situation God gives me to pray for, I remain obedient to Him in sending notes to those I pray for. To let them know that God hears them and that He will answer!!! May 1, 2012 – Move in to my own place!!! It’s a small space but it works for me!! :D My parents come to visit and hang out as well as go to service at my home church with me the day before they leave. Present – Still working full time, living in my place, waiting on God……OH, waiting on God….STILL…LONGER!!! *sigh* But, waiting as patiently as possible and finally, after many years, I am able to live in the moment and be in the here and now and really focus on what God wants me to do and be for Him. Praise point: After many years of praying, I find that I have joy and contentment in all situations and every circumstance….well, for the most part. :D I’m still human, after all. Hee hee My relationship with Jesus has become closer and more intimate in these past months, more so recently, with Him showing me how He sees me. As His child, bride, lover, and wife I have come to embrace all the things He sees in me and shows me in my daily surrendered walk with Him. While the blessings have been many, I have also encountered many spiritual attacks as I walk closer to God and begin to fulfill His many purposes that He has for me. But I continue to trust in God and be encouraged by His words to me in Exodus 14:14 – “The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.” I’ve come to rely on His strength and protection in times of great battle from the enemy. Praise God, for He is faithful!! The Lord also continues to guide me and He speaks to me of things He desires to do in me and through me, to which I surrender. For it is my heart’s desire to become the woman He always intended me to become and allow Him to refine me, any way He sees fit, for what He has prepared for me to do. See, pretty short and sweet! But, never fear, there is more to come as my next blogs will be more on a reflective note as I live life day to day and continue to trust, believe, and love God! I know that everything will come according to His time and His way. God bless you all for your faithfulness and for your words of encouragement and prayer upon me and my life!