Monday, April 3, 2017

I'll Take It To My Grave

Through the years, people have confided in me. They have divulged personal things. Heartbreaking, guilt-ridden, regret-filled things from the depths of their hearts and cores of their souls.

There are times when I look back on those conversations and wonder how the person got to the place of revealing such a deep and painful event in their lives. Did the weight of the burden become too heavy that they needed to share it? Why would they choose to share it with me?

Whether internal or told by the revealing friend, the reason they shared that haunting piece of their life is because they trusted me with the information. They knew that what was said would never go beyond the walls of the room shared in. That I would hold it in my heart and take it to my grave.

That is still the case today and there is no amount of bribery or cajoling that would cause me to spill the gossip. There is something about the sacred space of the heart that demands loving care and an understanding posture.

We want to feel safe sharing intimate things that hold us captive. We need to confide in someone who will hold on to that secret, releasing the teller from their hellish prison. We long to be forgiven even though we'll never forget.

That's what comes in the package of a special friend. A confidant who has proven themselves trustworthy and upright in character and integrity. I endeavor to be such a person and look for those same qualities in a close friend.

I have to admit, however, that there are some things that have happened in my life of which no one will become privy. Things that only God knows. He is my ultimate safe place. Someone I can divulge anything and everything to without any worry of judgment or finger wagging in rebuttal. Even when I'm assaulting myself with judgment.

Like God, I choose to pass no judgment or wield condemnation on someone who sees me as their refuge to share. I am in no position to judge or condemn. There need only be compassion and empathy when holding things in confidence.

There is a story in the Bible about a girl. A very special girl by the name of Mary. One day, Mary was told by an angel that she was chosen to have a baby boy, but not just any boy. She would give birth to Jesus.

She was incredibly confused. She was a young virgin who, in spite of being engaged to a guy named Joseph, had never slept with him and without intention to until they were married.

Though Mary kept the secret hidden in her heart, there was no doubt that she had trepidation about the revelation. Her culture would never allow a young, unmarried girl to be pregnant. There would be incredible judgment and shaming.

However, she didn't confide in anyone about her situation. She kept the unbelievable details to herself and she was blessed because of it. She was seen as someone who could be trusted to keep the craziness of the circumstances to herself.

Encouragement for the week:

Life can be brutally tough without much sympathy from the masses. Finding someone to trust can be a challenge.

If you have someone in your life who you know you can trust and confide in, thank them.

If you don't have someone like that in your life, how about becoming that person to someone else? It's a blessing.

If you are a Christian, you know the importance of being a person of integrity and trustworthiness. Never take that position lightly or for granted. God has entrusted you with these gifts.

If you are not a Christian, look for Jesus and you will find Him along with all the wonderful attributes He desires you have to become a person who can be trusted.

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