I'm exhausted. Spritually, physically, and emotionally.
This past week has become a dead end for everything in me with the exception of my mind.
For some reason, the others didn't give the exhaustion memo to my brain.
It keeps reeling with thoughts that don't want to shut off or shut up until I go to sleep at night.
Sometimes, I wake up in the morning immediately riddled with thoughts and anxiety.
I've been told I have a tendency to over think things.
That I will read into things that are just not there.
Guilty as charged. I'm not sure how I got here. I blame the Google maps of my mind.
For misdirecting me from the path, I thought, I was doing a great job at following.
Not so much, apparently.
Lately, I have had doubt and anxiety about many things. Things that have, literally, woken me from peaceful slumber.
Some of them are:
- My future (Do I even have one? Is it as a married woman?)
- My gifts and talents given to me by God
- My ability to make a living from my passions
There are more self-deprecating thoughts but I think you know what I am talking about.
We all have doubts about ourselves. We all have fears that might even prevent us from reaching our full potential.
Some of those things might even keep us up at night, stealing our sleep and peace of mind.
They've been stealing mine.
So what do I do? Allow all of it to consume me? To keep me in a hole that I never wanted to dig in the first place?
Everything we do, I do, involves a choice.
Will I allow my head to dictate to the rest of me that I am not stronger than the lies swimming in it?
Will I give anxiety and doubt free living space in my head?
As exhausted as I am, right now, I choose to say, "HECK NO!!!"
I choose, right now, to look at the Cross, where Jesus died FOR ME, to be freed from doubt and anxiety.
I choose to let go of all the useless stuff floating in my brain, taking up valuable space.
I choose to lay everything down and let God deal with it so that I can rest in the peace Christ died to give me.
I choose to serve an eviction notice, today, to all the thoughts that have been squatting in my head. Get out and don't come back!
I also choose to say, out loud, things that I am thankful for. Even the silly things like organic butter and pumpkin french toast.
I may still feel exhausted but these avenues, this dead end, are places where I can rest, assured of God's love and peace.
Encouragement for today: For all of you out there who battle with the enemies of doubt and anxiety, please know that you are greater and more valuable than the sum of your thoughts.
You are stronger than any of the crud that's swimming around in your head.
I pray that you would know true peace and victory in pushing aside those thoughts and that you would find rest.
For those of you who know Jesus, you know the incredible and indescribable peace that can come from knowing Him. Fight your way back to that.
For those of you who don't know Jesus, I can attest that there is no greater peace and rest that comes from knowing Jesus through a personal relationship with Him.