Ever been on a roller coaster? It's exhilarating, scary, and at times challenging (only because you're trying your best not to throw up). Well, following God has presented similarities to that of a roller coaster...at least it has for me.
Since I answered God's call of my name five and a half short years ago, this journey I have been on with Him has been nothing short of a wild roller coaster ride (minus the possibility of throwing up). LOL
I've experienced exhilaration, excitement, fear, doubt, difficulty, peace, and freedom. Yes, freedom. A freedom that I have NEVER experienced ever before in my life and the closer I walk with God, the tighter He holds me and the more free I feel.
I recently experienced a sharp turn on my roller coaster ride with the Lord early last month, July 4 to be exact. It all began with a dream, a prophetic dream from God. It was very vivid and very clear and when I woke up from that dream I just KNEW within my being that it was from God. In fact, as soon as I woke up the outstanding indicator telling me it was from God was the unsurpassing peace I had.
But as humans we kinda look for more, even humans who follow God closely. So, like Gideon, I prayed for the Lord to confirm this message I received from Him in the dream which by the way was a very detailed dream of me resigning from the administrative position I held with a small oil and gas company. The very same position God had brought me eight months earlier.
Having taken the unsurpassing peace I received upon waking from the dream as my first confirmation from the Lord, I prayed for a second confirmation from Him through His Word, His living and infallible Word. It wasn't long after I prayed that prayer that the word 'resignation' appeared in the message of a devotional based on a piece of Scripture from the Word of God.
Feeling more human than normal, I'm guessing, I came to the Lord again, much like Gideon...again, and I prayed for the Lord to confirm it one last time. I prayed that God would confirm His call to me through the Holy Spirit that resided within me. That He would speak loudly, clearly, and deeply to my spirit through the power of the Holy Spirit, telling me that it was, indeed, His will that I resign. That His words would resonate throughout my entire being so much so that it would be impossible to ignore what He was telling me. I was pressing God more than usual because I really didn't want to resign. I REALLY liked my job! I had a fantastic boss and the greatest work environment I could ever hope for!!
Well, it wasn't ten minutes after I had prayed that prayer that my ENTIRE being became filled with one word, 'RESIGN'. Yep, capital letters and all started to resonate in my heart, mind, and spirit. There was no ignoring it or misunderstanding what God was telling me. Yikes! So I swallowed hard and said, "Okay, Lord, that is what I will do." So I continued to pray and then typed my letter of resignation and tendered it to my boss on July 9.
The only thing is that while God was calling me to do this, He wasn't telling me what was coming next and I had never experienced that before in my walk with Him. So, perhaps, you can see why I hesitated and prayed for God to confirm this so many times.
But I did it and my departure, while met with sadness, was also met with excitement for what lay ahead, which I had no idea what that was. My last day was August 3 and this then segued into a week's vacation at one of my favorite B&B spots in Alberta.
Three weeks prior to my last day, however, I was sent to Nova Scotia on business for one week and while there, God blessed me in ways I never anticipated. One such blessing came on the full weekend I had in the province. I decided to travel to the coast and find a little hideaway that would allow me respite along with some time peering out at the Atlantic Ocean. I found such a place on Big Island in Merigomish, Nova Scotia. As I got settled in this B&B I had found, I sat on my bed and peered out of one of the windows in my room. Directly in my line of sight was an apple tree and in moments I saw a picture of myself sitting under that apple tree with Jesus. Not only that but with the picture came one word, 'FREE'. Yes, that word was in capital letters as well. LOL
That brought to my mind the great truths of God's Word that I was free in Christ and in the salvation that I had accepted when I let Him into my heart. Free to be the woman God had saved to be transformed into who He always intended me to be. However, since God spoke that word to me weeks ago, it's been spoken to me every single day since then and I couldn't ignore the fact that I felt as though there was something more to that word. It was during my final week of work that God began to reveal to me the deeper meaning behind the word He gave me in Nova Scotia.
That not only did I have that eternal freedom in Christ but that God was now giving me the freedom to choose...choose what was to come next in my life. The freedom to come before Him and pray for the very longings and desires so deeply held in my heart that I dreamed so many times would come next. The deepest held? Marriage. Others? Relationships...that with my son, my family, my friends. This revelation was a mind blower, I must admit. I had never felt more apprehensive, humbled, and blessed to have received what God was now telling me. This really encompassed everything within the single, solitary word that God had spoken to me, whispered to my heart in His still, small voice in that B&B in that sleepy town of Merigomish, Nova Scotia.
Not only was God pouring out this freedom to choose to me but He was also telling me to do so boldly, fearlessly, and specifically. How can this be?? Can I be trusted with all of this? Would God have spoken all of this to me if He didn't trust me? Was it all a direct result of me trusting in Him all these years? Even with all the questions came the peace, that unsurpassing peace again, like with the dream that started all of this. Bringing to end one chapter of my life and beginning another filled with uncertainty but surely a great freedom that God ordained for me.
After completing my final day of work, I packed up and headed to my B&B vacation in the country where I knew I would find refreshment, blessing, and a closeness with God I couldn't quite get in the city. Each day was a fountain of God's blessings on me including words, songs, Scripture verses, and extraordinary experiences with nature. Prayers were answered daily as God spoke words to me that I had come to know well from Him. Those words being 'FREE', 'WAIT', and 'BLESS'. It was just a wonderful time to be and to enjoy all that God had for me there.
It was much like a walk down memory lane and God was my tour guide. Speaking to me of all the things that He had done in my life and in me in the past year. My time in Costa Rica and the extraordinary life changes that occured during my five months there. The purposes He had revealed to me and all the memories of His daily faithfulness. And I can't leave out the many affirmations, confirmations, and reassurances that He had for me each day. What an incredible week and a symphony I didn't want to stop hearing or experiencing. I can't begin to explain how difficult it was to leave that and make my way back here to city life, but I did it as reluctantly as possible. LOL
After being back a couple days, it's been an adjustment but God has been faithful and has already brought me work! After spending time with a sister in Christ in fellowship and prayer yesterday morning, God began to speak to me the moment I got in my car to leave. The word He initially spoke to me and the message to follow was unmistakable...'Prayer'. God then said to me, "I want you to work for me, to be in prayer for me. I want you to fulfill one of my purposes for you and be the prayer warrior I always intended you to be."
It was hard to miss the excitement that immediately bubbled within my heart and spirit when I heard that. Then the excitement quickly gave way to humility and an awe I had never encountered before. God is calling me to work for Him??! The Creator of the universe is recruiting ME!!!?? Wha??? How could I possibly say no!!??
It's not your typical day job..at least it's not a job which the world recognizes as being one of great value or that it holds in high esteem because you don't get paid to do it. But, for me, the rewards far outweigh the fact that I won't get paid to do what God has called and chosen me to do during this time in my life. In fact, it's directly in line with the freedom God has given me for what comes next in my life.
So, for a time, I will work for the greatest boss in the universe, 24/7 if He wants me to, and sink into the joy and desire of praying that God has set so deeply in my heart not only for myself and for those around me who I know well but for those who I don't know at all but who God loves with a never ending love.
While I love to pray for others, and welcome your prayer requests should you have any, I was wondering if you could pray for me? That I would be able to further wait patiently for God to bring me the desires of my heart, namely marriage, while I partake in one of the greatest jobs I can think of right now....praying and interceding on the behalf of others.
Thank you for your continued interest and support of this ever changing and always crazy journey I'm on with God. I wouldn't have it any other way. :D
God bless you all!!!!