Wednesday, July 27, 2011
The Same Lesson
Today's class lesson was one I needed to relearn, unfortunately. But being human comes with its annoyances. Like having to learn the same lesson over and over again. Why can't I just get it the first time??
Learning this lesson actually began yesterday when, at the end of our class time, there were packages that had arrived via the mail for various members of my DTS team. I'm not sure why but my hopes were SERIOUSLY set on receiving something, anything, just to know that someone back home was missing me or thinking of me.
Alas, it came time for the last package to be handed out and that was it. Nothing with my name on it. No nicely wrapped package with careful handwriting of my name. No card, no letter. Nothing.
So, I left the classroom feeling completely defeated and upset. I felt like I didn't even exist to my friends and family back home. I felt like I had now drifted out of everyone's heads. Okay, by this time, I was having a bit of a pity party and decided that I needed to seriously switch my focus onto God before I went any further in my poor attitude. So, I grabbed my Bible and iPod and headed out to the Homes for Hope house and made myself comfortable on a hammock and proceeded to read my Bible and get lost in God.
It wasn't long before I started reading words from God's many promises to me and hearing my favorite Chris Tomlin song, 'I Will Follow'. Things began to change. I felt my heart being filled with peace and my mind being eased. Suddenly came the arms of God and I soon relaxed so easily that I fell into rest. I was in my secret place and I was loving it.
However, that all seemed to fade during dinner time when I was recalling the excitement that had been elicited by my team members that had received packages and I was back to where I had started earlier that afternoon. It sucked, quite frankly, and I didn't really know how to pull myself out of it. That was due in part to the fact that I guess I wanted to stay there, in that place of self pity and sadness and so I allowed the enemy to use it all to his full advantage. The enemy sucks.
By the time I finished my work duty for the evening, I was barely holding on to my quiet nature and ready to sob intensely. So I made a beeline to my room, grabbed my Bible and made my way to the prayer room to just get it all out through a good cleansing cry. I just felt like I needed it. But then the prayer room was occupied and I had no clue of where else I could go. Long story short, I sobbed in my room with several roommates present and I just let it out as two of my roommate angels came over to me and laid hands on me as they prayed. Am I blessed or what???? Praise God for these beautiful women!!!
So this morning, in class, brought me face to face with the lesson that I was to learn from all of this. What God was trying to do in the pain of it all. Yes, the same lesson that I have faced before. The lesson being that God has steps for each of us to take that is all part of a grand puzzle. A puzzle filled with hopes, dreams, disappointments, trials, difficulties, joys and sorrows. But what brings all the pieces of this puzzle together, successfully, to make the final picture of blessing, is the fact that we walk through each life experience, or each step God has for us, whether good or bad. No short cuts, no negotiations, no getting out of it. You travel through each and every one WITH God to get to the other side where blessing awaits us.
This blessing takes various forms. It could be from the smallest to the largest. As simple as receiving peace when you lose someone to receiving that new car that you really needed for your job or your family. Whatever the blessing might be, we will lose out on it if we don't take that next step that God calls us to take with Him to then go on to the next step and the next.
Yes, each step has its challenges and some of those steps are tough and, sometimes, heart wrenching. But each and every step is necessary in building us up in our faith, creating integrity in our character, forming us into incredible men and women of God FOR God and so many other things that bring us to the completion of our life puzzles where great blessings await each and every one of us!!!
So, why wouldn't I want to go through everything that God wants me to go through, whether good or bad??? Because I know who God is and that everything He puts His hand to is good, I trust Him and have no reason NOT to follow Him through whatever He has for me to follow Him through. For I know blessings await me and I also know that God wants the very best for me and I'm coming to want the very same thing...God's best. That excites me when it comes to thinking about my future.
I don't know where I'm going or what I'm doing after YWAM because I am trusting God implicitly for everything! For God IS my everything and I know that I am His and that is the best place to be!!! My prayer is that you come to know Him in this very way because as you get to know Him better, you get to trust Him more easily and the difficult times don't seem so difficult which is a very good thing!!! :D